I figured I'd start a weekly feature because those are sweet, right? I'm going to take a look at things that were just f'n strange over the course of the week in sports. I may also take some shots at other far less relevant issues in pop culture that come to mind. In fact, I just wrote an entire post to this effect but somehow lost the whole frickin thing. Undaunted, I begin again. So here goes nothing:
1. Cowherd What the F was the deal with Colin Cowherd's 4 hour rant on Tuesday (found here with ESPN Insider access, which I'm sure you have) about the cause of WWE wrestler Eddie Guerrero's death two years ago. A little backstory... After Guerrero's untimely death in 2005, Cowherd went on his radio show and said that Guerrero's death was due to steroids. No cause of death had been made public but Cowherd's assertion was that everyone in wrestling does them and it oftern leads to early death. The response from the "booger eaters" (Herd's nickname for wrestling fans who live in their parents' basement) that day was in the way of a flood of calls to the ESPN phone lines, all demanding Cowherd's head. They (the booger eaters) actually succeeded in shutting down the ESPN switchboard. Cowherd never apologized but ESPN itself put together an apology statement. Well fast forward to this week, the HGH probe implicated several wrestlers (including Guerrero) and the official cause of Guerrero's death was listed as heart failure due to an enlarged heart. One released report related many of the conditions leading to Guerrero's death as consistent with prescription and performance enhancing drug use. Well after the linkage of the wrestlers came out, Herd used his ENTIRE 4 hour show on Tuesday to say, in many, many words, "I was right, you were wrong." He sounded like a whiny 4 year-old. It was ridiculous radio and the worst part is that nobody other than he cares. The reason I like Cowherd is because of his bombast and ability to make fun of himself as well as his listeners. He took this WAY too seriously. It fucking sucked.
2. Fedoruk What the F, Todd Fedoruk? You get your face broken by Derek Boogaard in October and then, though it wasn't necessarily your fault, you get sent to the hospital by Colton Orr on Wednesday night. Two fights, two hospital visits. Maybe fighting just ain't your thing, eh Toddy too hotty?
3. NHL Channel Where the F can I find Versus or Oxygen or whatever the fuck the channel is that the NHL is on?
4. Gus, Billy, JB, Raftery What the F is up with all the announcer critiques these days? I thought this was just Phil Mushnick's territory and occasionally Mike and The Mad Dog. Since when was it ok to make your subjective announcer feelings known to the world and try to play them off as some sort of objective standard. Different people like different shit, unless we're talking about Suzy Waldman, who is universally loathed.
5.Walt Clyde Frazier Staying with the announcer critiques, how the F does Walt Clyde Frazier stay above the fray in all of this? He is perhaps the single worst announcer of all-time. He only occasionally points out anything other than the obvious and his only real contribution is his otherwordly performance with Keith Hernandez in the Just For Men Commercial. He is most widely recognized for his improper usage of words I learned in Sally Vrooman's SAT Prep Course featuring "Tooth and Nail: A Novel Approach to the SAT." He is absolutely ridiculous and it's about time someone called him out on it. It seems so easy. Is someone not telling me something here? I truly don't get it.
6. Everclear What the F happened to the band Everclear? After releasing "Santa Monica," they had so much promise to lead a genre of music struggling for identity in the post-grunge era. Instead, they turned into a cross between Weird Al and The Offspring. Their devolution was one of the more bizarre wastes of talent in the last quarter century. It may have had something to do with the fact that they were perhaps the single worst live band I've ever seen, and I've seen Howard Jones, Tracy Bonham and the Goo Goo Dolls.... THREE FUCKING TIMES!
7. Stefani Also, what the F is going on with Gwen Stefani's "Geisha Girl" phase? I never liked her, but this audible vomit that she produces has gotten seemingly more rank ever since she introduced the weird Asian women in every one of her videos. Could her music become more bubble gum. It's like she hit the "pop" backbeat rhythm button on her casio keyboard and started putting shitty lyrics to the beat. America should be ashamed.
8. American Cinema Speaking of America being ashamed, what the F is going on with American cinema? How could Norbit and Wild Hogs pull in the most money in any weekend. I'm honestly concerned about the collective state of our nation's sense of humor or simply our collective sense in general. What the F, USA?
(Update: I'm without words for this update. The cinematic apocalypse is upon us. I will simply say this: think Wild Hogs + Norbit. Nothing yet? Well, here's some help, coming July 20th, John Travolta dons a fat suit for his role in Hairspray. This makes me physically ill.)
9. Cricket Fans What the F, cricket fans? You murder your coach? Is a coach really that critical to a cricket match?
10. Cinema Again Back to movies for a second, what the F is up with the racially charged swimming film "Pride." After this, can we officially call this storyline closed?
11. Josh McRoberts What the F, Josh McRoberts? Are you seriously coming out in perhaps the deepest draft in a decade? Where do you see yourself fitting in? Let's go over your "attributes" for a second, shall we? 6'10", rail thin, athletic, white, Power Forward(?) with no discernable post-up game, no defensive skill and no range whatsoever. So let's see who you compare favorably with in the NBA: No one. Though that description does sum up every player in Russia, so good luck with that.
12. Shower Flatulence Why the F does flatulence smell worse in the shower?
13. Memphis-A&M Refs How in the F did 1 second come off the clock on that out of bounds play? It was almost instantaneous. It couldn't have been more costly. That was a huge fuck up AND was fucked up with the benefit of replay. Way to go, assholes.
14. Dane Bradshaw What the F is the deal with my man-crush on U Tennessee's Dane Bradshaw? It's really disconcerting. I may get disinvited to Tony Dungy's rockin Easter party.
There you have it. That's this week's "what the F?" If any of you 4 have some what the F suggestions, feel free to email me at luoldang@yahoo.com.
Ladies & gentleman, your starting CF for the Cincinnati Reds, Mr. Ryan Freel
This is probably not the way Junior Griffey wanted to go out. One of the top Centerfielders of all-time, Ken Griffey, Jr., is being replaced in centerfield on his hometown team by Ryan Freel. Griffey will move over to RF and man does he sound psyched about it:
"It didn't really matter how I felt about it. That's really not important. I'm there, and I have to make the best of it." Griffey was asked about how different playing right field would be for him. "Don't know. I've never done it," he said.
Well ok then. I guess the feeling is understandable given the future Hall of Famer is being replaced by a guy who when asked to talk about a great catch he had made in the game mentioned that he talks to an imaginary friend named "Farney" and went on to tell the Dayton Daily News this:
"He's a little guy who lives in my head who talks to me and I talk to him. That little midget in my head said, 'That was a great catch, Ryan,' I said, 'Hey, Farney, I don't know if that was you who really caught that ball, but that was pretty good if it was.' Everybody thinks I talk to myself, so I tell 'em I'm talking to Farney." Freel later said that Farney's name arose from a conversation with Reds trainer Mark Mann: "He actually made a comment like, 'How are the voices in your head?' We'd play around and finally this year he said, 'What's the guy's name?' I said, 'Let's call him Farney.' So now everybody's like, 'Run, Farney, run' or 'Let Farney hit today. You're not hitting very well.'"
Oddly ("odd" being a relative term), the comments only further endeared himself to the Reds fans who already held him amongst their favorites on the team for his hard-nosed play and versatility. Today the Farney/Freel combination is probably the most popular duo in Cincinnati since Bob Huggins & Jack Daniels left town. The real question is not how the fans will deal with it, but instead how the clubhouse will react. So far, things are going swimmingly:
Freel has had no conversations with Griffey about taking his spot in center field, and hopes it is a glass-like transition.
"I don't know what I'd say if I did talk to Griffey," said Freel. "I just don't want that guy (Griffey) mad at me. It's not my fault."
Nope, it's not your fault Ryan. How could it be? You don't even control your own actions. The blame clearly falls on one person: Farney. I'm sure he'll be able to smooth things over with Junior.
A couple headlines from today's coverage of Matsuzaka's outing yesterday against the Pirates: "Dice-K Shines" "Dice-K Baffles" "Dice-K Earns His Money". In his blog, posted yesterday, Jason Stark gave Matsusaka a textual handjob noting "[a]fter watching Daisuke Matsuzaka pitch for the first time Wednesday, I couldn't tell you for sure that this guy is about to win 20 games, a Cy Young or possibly a Nobel Peace Prize." Really Jason? Did you really just mention 20 and a Cy Young (albeit in a tone dripping with sarcasm but with a hint of "I will tell everyone I called this if it actually happens")? In Stark's defense, much of the post was devoted to the freakshow like atmosphere that follows Dice-K wherever he goes, but has any pitcher received this much praise for throwing 5 & 2/3 in a Spring Training game against one of the worst teams in baseball who weren't even playing their entire Major League lineup? First of all, 92 pitches in 5 & 2/3 is not exactly economical. Given the Sox bullpen situation, 5.4 pitches per out is not good enough for a one hit game. Now clearly Matsuzaka will have a longer leash during the regular season and he won't be messing around with his two seam fastball as much (which was all over the place yesterday) but he's got to be more economical with his put away pitches. He got away with at least 4 or 5 meatballs right down the plate that will end up impaling a patron at the Cask 'n Flagon if he throws them at Fenway. All that being said, Matsuzaka can pitch. He was hitting mid-90's for the first time all Spring (likely due to ESPN's radar gun which had Zumaya throwing 118mph last year), he has an absurd low 80's changeup that breaks away from lefties, a la Pedro, throws all his pitches for strikes and isn't afraid to pitch backwards. Phillips and Hershiser were calling him the Ace of the staff (he's 3rd in the order) and today people (a list that now includes me) have invoked the name of Pedro in order to offer a frame of reference. I'm just not ready to commit to such high praise. Yes, the break in his changeup is similar to Pedro's. Yes, he seems unphased by the media attention and competition. And Yes, there is a certain "it" factor to his pitching style and presence. I give him all of that. Let's just slow down on giving him 15 wins and a sub 3 ERA. What everyone needs to step back and realize is that making Chris Duffy look stupid at the plate, while funny, isn't a criteria for the CY Young. The kid can fucking throw, but he's got plenty of work to do.
It's videos like these that make me so upset that Youtube wasn't around when I was rocketing grounders through the infield.
Before getting to the meat (miit) of this post, I need to first comment on the above video. All I was looking for was a picture or video that would clearly depict a ground-rule double. Surprisingly, there was very little in the way of visual media available on the subject. The reason for the lack of video on the subject is pretty clear: Potential MLB rights violations. Still, I figured there'd be a picture or some kind of explanation that included visuals. There's not that much. Normally I would be angry at the MLB for greedily hoarding all its video. I mean, I was almost forced to draw some stick figure diagram of a ground-rule double. But then, like a gift from the heavens, I stumbled upon this gem. Who needs video of Tony Clark's Game 5 ground rule double or ridiculous video of balls getting stuck in the Ivy at Wrigley or the outfield pads in Montreal or Oakland when instead you can pull up a video of a guy hitting a ground ball through the infield that winds up (inexplicably) becoming a ground-rule double, while at the same time getting pumped up by the hard driving--almost cliched--pure 80's sound of Survivor's "No Easy Way Out?" The video deserves a blog all by its lonesome. The best part of the whole video, if I'm forced to pick one, is when the guy taking the video realizes the hit's going to be a ground-rule double almost as the ball leaves the bat. Those are some interesting ground rules. It's like playing on a mini-putt course or the Trop.
Anyhoo, feeding off of the overwhelmingly positive response (3 comments and counting) of yesterday's post regarding the necessary changes to the pass interference rule, today I tackle the ground-rule double ("GRD") rule. I won't even get into the fact that certain stadiums have there own weird ground rules which, other than the Trop, for the most part I enjoy (balls that end up going into the wall at Fenway are GRDs, the aforementioned Wrigley-Ivy GRD and the Padres ground rule about grounders that David Wells mistakes as mozzarella). The part that I want to tackle is that rule stipulates that when a ground rule double is hit, the runner on first is not allowed to score. That may have made sense at one time, but it does not now. I'm not saying we should make a wholesale change, but there are adjustments that need to be made.
1.) With 2 Outs, The Runner Should Score Yes, even the Krukker could score from first on a ground-rule double with 2 outs. I should probably mention that I'm working off of a couple of the major assumptions (I can't find the data anywhere) in making these proposed rule changes are A.) The purpose of the GRD rule is to put players where they likely would be had the ball remained in play; and B.) most ground-rule doubles are hit in the outfield (those that do not will be featured below). With these assumptions in tow, it's pretty clear that when a GRD is hit, had the ball stayed in play (especially the balls that clear outfield fence on a hop), the runner would have scored with ease with two outs because those runners are off on contact. In order for a ball to bounce out of the field the ball has to have a high and long trajectory, and usually requires a bounce off the warning track. By the time the ball would have been corralled by the outfielder (had it remained in play) most baserunners are rounding third while tbe limpwristed centerfielder tries to hit the cutoff man. 99 out of 100 times that guy from first is gonna score. So I say let him.
1A.) Ok, So Maybe They Shouldn't Score On Every GRD I love Rule 1, but in the interest of open-mindedness I'm willing to concede that not all GRDs are the same. At Fenway, Yankee Stadium, Citizen's Bank and others, there is very little room down the foul line behind the first and third base bags. Sometimes a screaming liner will kick up the paint behind the bag and immediately hop into the stands (usually beaning some kid or old person). In those instances, it is reasonable to argue that had the ball kicked off the wall the guy on first wouldn't score unless he was Juan Pierre or Carl Crawford (or Jacoby Ellsbury who is LIGHTNING fast). These balls (had they remained in play) would likely kick either directly to the right or left fielder or fly into short left or right field. Yadi Molina might not even make it to second base with two outs in those situations. So Rule 1A's edit to Rule 1 is the following: With two outs, the runner on first scores if the ball exits the field between the left and right field foul pole (on the outfield fence, obviously). Now THAT is a solid rule. Unfortunately, it doesn't go far enough for me. This is what I really want...
2.) GRD with less than 2 outs, the runner scores from first if he would have scored anyway First, if you have a minute--and clearly you do--you should do yourself a favor and check out the other Carl Crawford. In the interest of not making things too ridiculous, I'll continue to stipulate that this rule only applies to those balls exiting the field in fair play over the outfield fence. The gist of this rule is that some faster players can score from first very easily on GRDs even if they have to hold up near the SS to see if the OF makes the play. Why are these players being forced to stay at third base when they are almost already there when the ball leaves the park? I have no idea. My rule would be this: If a player has rounded second base before the ball has left the park (Ump's judgment), that player is awarded home. Why the hell not? The Umps already have the authority to send players to an extra base if a player has rounded the bag before the ball goes out of play on a throwing error. Holding them up on a GRD is ridiculous. It would also be exciting to see the bigger players (Ortiz, Giambi, All Pitchers and especially Manny) flying past second while hoping for a GRD only to have to hit the brakes and ramble back to first.
So listen up MLB, after this is posted there is going to be a significant groundswell of support. And given that this situation occurs no less than a 8 times every season, it is of the utmost importance that you make the change. You should also probably do something about the whole steroids situation. That also doesn't seem very fair.
It's rare that some cockamamy (I spelled that right on the first shot) scheme you and your buddies draw on some napkins over some rapidly warming Miller Lites at Jack Russell's on a Saturday afternoon is later proposed by an NFL head coach as a significant rule change, but that's exactly what happened today. ESPN.com reported that 49ers Head Coach Mike Nolan was on TV talking about how NFL should change the pass interference rule. Nolan would like to make the call more subjective and give the refs the option of calling a 15 yard penalty (still significant) or a spot foul. I couldn't agree more. In fact, my friends and I came up with a similar plan last Summer (the plan my friends and I proposed in the Summer of '06 was a little different. We agreed on 10yds for less interference though some thought 5yds was ok or even simply a replay of down was sufficient). The problem with the rule as presently constructed is that every pass interference call is a spot foul and results in an automatic first down. This gives tremendous incentive for the WR to initiate contact or take a dive on plays downfield where he knows he won't be able to get to a pass. It also overpenalizes the defender for contact often de minimis in nature. If a DB turns his head too late and ends up faceguarding a WR, he's penalized as severely as if he pulled the guy down by the jersey or shoved him out of bounds before the ball got there. Now don't get me wrong, as long as faceguarding is going to remain an illegal play, you need to penalize it, but shouldn't intent matter? The NFL already makes this distinction with some penalties. There's a distinction in face mask penalties (5yds vs. 15yds) as well as running into the kicker vs. roughing the kicker. The distinction for both centers around how reckless the player was in committing those fouls. With Pass Interference, the distinction could be similar. The "hustle plays" that result in contact should not be penalized as severely as those plays where there is reckless conduct. Nolan makes the analogy stretch that the current penalty structure is akin to giving a speeder the death penalty. Maybe just a touch dramatic, eh Mikey? The point is a good one though. Defending a deep pass is a huge risk/reward situation and the recklessness with which that play is defended is the standard by which the player should be punished. The DB is on the hot seat and you certainly don't want to encourage any type of behavior that will result in a player getting away with illegal contact downfield. You also don't want to force the ref to decide whether the contact is deserved of what amounts to a 50yd penalty or a no call. There needs to be a middle ground. Reducing the penalty for lesser infractions (turning too late, hand checking, running into the guy while you're looking at the underthrown ball, etc.) will lead to more competitive play and more consistent defensive play without requiring the ref to decide whether or not to turn a hand slap 45 yards down the field into a playoff changing event. It's just absurd. There are times late in big games where a ball goes down field and the ref sees contact but doesn't want to change the course of the entire game so he doesn't make a call he would have 20 minutes ago. That may be what the NFL wants, but it doesn't make for consistent play and a lack of consistency in penalty calling is disasterous for the league in this era of HDTV, replay and TiVo. Kudos to you Mike Nolan. Anytime you agree with me and my drunk friends, you are clearly ahead of the curve.
(While the story I read was reported by ESPN.com's Len Pasquarelli, the original comments by Nolan stem from an article with The Sacramento Bee's Matthew Barrows, who deserved the same credit in ESPN.com's article as he's belatedly getting here.)
Is Peter King the first loyal reader of The Smittblog?
Affable coffeenerd Peter King has been known to sneak a peak or two at blogs from time to time. Is it possible that he took some notes from the lightly read blog of yours truly before putting together this week's MMQB? Last week I wrote a short piece about how much sense it makes for the Pats to trade one of their first round picks and backup QB Matt Cassell to the Bears for Lance Briggs. This week, Papa King shoots off this little ditty in his blog during a Q&A with Drew Rosenhaus:
He (Rosenhaus) said the Bears had a seven-year, $33-million contract offer on the table for Lance Briggs last year, but haven't offered him a multi-year deal this offseason. It's either play the year at $7.2 million (poor guy), sit out (he'll never do that) or hope some team comes to the Bears (the Patriots?) and says, "We'll give you a low first-round pick for Briggs,'' and then signs him to a $7 million-a-year deal with $20 million guaranteed. "The Bears haven't given us many options,'' Rosenhaus said. "Come in and play this year at $7.2 million. That's it. They've said to us they have no intention of signing him to a long-term deal. If we'd have signed the deal they offered last year, Lance wouldn't have been among the top-15-paid linebackers in the league.'' I said, "The Patriots ought to send the 28th pick to Chicago for him. The Bears would have to take that, wouldn't they, rather than have a pissed-off player?'' Rosenhaus said: "From your lips to God's ears.''
Coinkidink? Very likely. It's much more fun to believe that King stole the idea from me (let's wait until Matt Cassell becomes part of the discussion). And it's even more fun to believe that PK and myself are just two peas in a very large pod.
This may be the single most sensical thing I've ever written. Ever. Though admittedly I was tested for "retard" in 5th grade when the reviewers of some writing test I had to take were so frightened by what I wrote that I had to have a special conference about a potential learning disability (a shocking development indeed considering I was in the accelerated learning program at the time). But even to a retard, Briggs to the Pats makes sense. Think about it. The Pats need him and the Bears can afford to get rid of him while getting exactly what they need in return. Intrigued? Read on. Briggs is arguably the best weak-side linebacker in the game. The Pats, while strong up front, are getting long in the tooth in the linebacking core. Currently Rosie Colvin, Adalius Thomas, Tedy Bruschi (maybe?) and Mike "Red Bull and" Vrabel occupy the 4 linebacker spots. The Pats have never really had a stud athlete in the rotation in the Belichick era, unless you consider Andy Katzenmoyer a "stud" (I do not). Most mock drafts show the Pats taking at least one LB in the first round in an effort to fill the void. Briggs is obviously a better fit.
So what would the Pats have to give up to get him? Well, they have the draft picks (two first rounders though I believe the Bears would have to drop the franchise label before trading him and would only get one first rounder and perhaps one of the Pats 3rd round compensatory picks that the Pats will likely pick up prior to the draft) and they have a player that could put the Bears over the top: QB - Matt Cassell. Cassell has been Brady's backup for the last 2 years (and before that was backup to both Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart at USC). Cassell doesn't get the press that backups like Matt Schaub and Damon Huard get, but he's every bit as qualified and younger than both. He's got prototypical QB size (6'4", 225), stems from a Pro system at USC and was groomed in the Pros by Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. That's not a bad pedigree. Cassell would immediately provide a challenge for the starting spot with Grossman and has the brains (won the award for highest GPA among football upperclassmen at USC. That's the football equivalent of joining Mensa) to pick up any system and excel. The question mark for Cassell, obviously, is whether he can produce on the field. He hasn't had a ton of NFL experience but even in the time he's had he's been more consistent than Rexticles.
The biggest problem with the deal would be that the Pats are fairly limited in their cap room now after all of their signings. They have roughly $7 million left under the cap and don't like to push it too close to the limit as they always leave room for weird pre-season or midseason signings (See Caldwell, Seau & Testaverde). Briggs is going to command a hefty price tag and deferring the guaranteed money to later years may not be exactly what he's looking for. It's still very possible to make the deal happen if they could convince some of their guys to restructure deals. Even if no one did restructure, the Pats could get creative--as they often do--and still get him well under the cap. The second biggest problem is that the Bears don't need to trade him. If he doesn't show up, he doesn't get paid and it's not as though the Bears are weak up the middle. Briggs is a unique talent in the NFL. No question. But A.) Briggs is likely bluffing (doth protest too much Lancelot?) and B.) The Bears are in a position wherein losing him and gaining a couple draft picks and a backup QB is probably not incentive enough to set the precedent of allowing a whining player to get what he wants. That just doesn't seem like a "Chicago Bears-esque" thing to do.
So the deal is a 1st rounder, a third rounder and Matt Cassell (hell, we'll throw in the rights to Vinny's half-fro and we'll give Rex the number for Reche's coke dealer) for non-franchised Lance Briggs. It makes sense to me. But then again I'm less than 20 years removed from retard testing.
Should pairing these two really have taken this long?
Well of course Rachel Ray should represent Dunkin Donuts. I'm not sure if there's ever been a more perfect pairing between brand and spokesperson. Rachel Ray isn't fat, but she ain't thin. She carries a bit of a muffin top underneath her tight camo t-shirt and mom jeans, and that's ok. She's the exact body type that Dunkin' Donuts should be looking for. Clearly she's a donut eater, but she's not turning into Rosie because of it. In fact, most people who frequent DD's would KILL for Ray's physique. If there was some sort of Pulitzer for perfect marketing marriages, this would win hands down. The marriage got me thinking. Surely this common sense marketing marriage will produce some copycats. Since athletes are generally some of the most marketable people on the planet, we are certain to see some common sense marketing marriages between sports personalities and products. Here are some suggestions:
PacMan Jones & G.I. Junior's Rain Slicker
Most people have taken the wrong angle with the whole PacMan Jones situation. Sure his antics led to the multiple gunshot injuries and one man will likely never walk again because of him, but what people have failed to realize is that he brought the phrase "make it rain" into the forefront of media's vernacular. He should take that momentum and run with it, and the rain slicker is the perfect product. Let me set the scene for the commercial: Strippers dancing on a stage; man walks in and dumps a garbage bag full of money on stage and strippers "make it rain"; one stripper picks up money and stealthily hides it in her undergarments; men see this and jump on stage in a rage intending to attack the offending stripper; enter PacMan in full rain slicker; channeling Meathead from Meatballs 2, PacMan levitates the stripper off the stage to the blaring sounds of U2's "Elevation"; men flail wildly at levitating stripper as she is moved to the safety PacMan's awaiting Hummer; PacMan turns to Camera and winks. End scene. Tell me you wouldn't buy a rain slicker after that.
Tom Brady & Ritalin
The "royal we" over at Deadspin.com--as they sometimes do--cleverly suggested that the reason Brady knocked up both his recent love interests was the result of him missing some health classes. A good guess, but there's no way the golden boy ever skipped a class. Instead, he probably just wasn't paying any attention because he was thinking about all the 17 year-old tale that he was lining up to plow underneath the bleachers after class. And if it ends up being true that Brady did in fact knock up Gisele, after receiving a hearty congratulations, he needs to capitalize on the exposure. First step, acknowledge that the problem is not his reckless sexual behavior but instead a learning disability that prevented him from soaking in the information about pregnancy prevention and the dangers of premarital sex.He was a hyperactive, distracted teenager who never learned the ropes of sexual protection and because of it he has knocked up two of the most beautiful women in the world. It could happen to anyone. All of this could have been prevented had he just been prescribed Ritalin as a kid. Don't let your kid grow up to be Tom Brady. Tell your doctor to prescribe Ritalin to your child before he too knocks up a supermodel.
I'm not sure if "Doc Merkin" is an oxymoron or simply ironic, but I do know that this pro should no longer fly under the radar. He's a potential marketing dynamo.
At 57 years-old, conventional wisdom says that Doc Merkin shouldn't be regarded as "the future face of" anything, except maybe the obituaries. The former veterinarian and self-described "junk fisherman" of the B.A.S.S. tour probably doesn't strike most as billboard material or a face you'd likely see in an Abercrombie ad, but to belittle Merkin's marketing appeal is to fall directly into his trap. Merkin may not look the part, but he is on the verge of taking the world by storm and I'm not sure even he knows it.
Chances are you've never heard of Doc Merkin. You probably don't know Guy Eaker, Pete Ponds, Mike Wurm or Dan Morehead either. They are all members of the B.A.S.S. tour and to be honest, they probably prefer the anonymity. Competitive Bass Fishing isn't an occupation you take on for the notoriety or groupies, though there are a bit of both if your name is Mike Iaconelli, Kevin VanDam or Rick Clunn (for the over 50 crowd). Yet due to the recent partnership with ESPN and the addition of larger corporate sponsors like Toyota & Citgo, guys like Doc Merkin way not be laying in the weeds (pun intended) much longer.
Competitive Bass Fishing's growth has been compared favorably with the delayed explosion of NASCAR. The comparison likely has much more to do with the demographics of the current Bassmaster audience than anything but it is fair to say that in the last three years, competitive Bass Fishing has sustained tremendous growth. Tournament purses have doubled and last week Boyd Ducket came out of nowhere to win the Bassmaster Classic and pulled in an impressive $500,000 for the honor while celebrating on the stand in front of thousands of attendees and later tens of thousands watching at home. Competitive Bass Fishing is now filling the slots--and pulling in more viewers--that were traditionally left for Jimmy Houston and the Walker Kay Chronicles. Though ESPN scaled back its coverage of Bass Fishing a little (pulling ESPN2's live weigh-in coverage from primetime and instead airing a replay of the weigh-ins a few hours later) it's safe to say that the significant investment of air time and coverage (ESPN2 airs a daily recaps of all B.A.S.S. events on the weekends) means that competitive Bass Fishing is here to stay, at least for a little while. It remains to be seen whether the sport will capitalize on the opportunity. If Bass Fishing is determined to make a NASCAResque rise to pop culture relevance, all they really need is a personality to step out of the shadows and capture our imaginations. An "everyman" who is humble and yet dynamic. They need someone who will accept the challenge of fronting the Tour and accepting all competition. They need (and have) Doc Merkin. Aside from the obvious name cache, Merkin has a website (www.docmerkin.com); he's a boat salesman (http://www.docmerkin.com/boat.html) and he already has the type of media savvy TO could only dream of. In a wide ranging interview with the Chicago Sun-Times Merkin likens himself to "Brett Favre," makes a connection with his audience by citing prayer, comes off as a tough guy by belittling the multiple lacerations he suffered last year and displays his humble side without letting the reader forget how intensely focused he is to the job at hand. If you can read through that article and not become an immediate fan of Merkin, you don't have a pulse. He's the total package. In order to make use of this explosive marketing potential, all he has to do is win. Without a victory, he's just another pretty face in the long list of those who never took the next step and made the most of what God gave them by grabbing victory. He would essentially be the Anna Kournikova of bass fishing. Fortunately, Doc Merkin is a man who is constantly learning and has a desire to be the best. It is this yearning for success that will keep him coming back no matter how rough times may get. If his luck with the lunkers is anywhere comparable to his skill as a self-promoter, I have no doubt Doc Merkin will be the breakout performer of the B.A.S.S. tour and the walls of countless teenagers' homes will one day be covered in posters of Merkin.
"You don't get this good looking by eating FUCKING CHICKEN SALAD! I SAID TUNA SALAD YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"
As I sometimes do, I started this morning with a casual peruse of the ESPN.com baseball "bloggers." I was pleased to see that Gammons had posted something as he's my favorite read amongst the bunch. Gammons had a particularly readable little ditty about an up and coming free swinger, Jeff Francoeur. Pretty standard fare for Gammo. Tidbits about family with roots in New England and a gentle tease about Jeff's love of Fenway that will certainly stir up a frenzy on SOSH. But the best part--at least for me and anyone else who enjoys gratuitous A-Rod bashing--was the anecdote about Jeff Francoeur, A-Rod and lunch meats. About 9/10ths of the way through the piece, Gammo passed along this little nugget from out of left field:
"Team USA players like to tell the story of Francoeur confronting Alex Rodriguez during the WBC for trashing a clubhouse kid who brought him the wrong sandwich."
Whether this story is true or untrue is of no consequence to me. The point is merely that A-Rod has reached a such level of infamy that not only do I believe pretty much any story that involves him being a douchebag, but I've come to expect them. Gammons was really just filling the 6 day void left since the last story about A-Rod being a bag o' D. What I also enjoy about this quote is that Gammo starts by noting "Team USA players like to tell..." So not only is A-Rod a D-bag, but his douchebaggery was seemingly one of the most noteworthy moments of the team's time spent at the WBC. Say what you want about Gammo, but he does know his audience.
(Don't mind the last 21 seconds of black screen. Not sure what this Youtuber was going for with that portion of the video, but I'm guessing he won't get the call to direct MJ's next commercial. Regardless, you could play that music to a montage of Rosie on the can and I'd still get chills. So I say kudos to you, Youtuber "bizarrosteve.")
As Raftery, Bilas and the insufferable Doug Gottlieb will be sure to remind you over the course of the next couple of weeks, March Madness represents everything that is right with sports. Every team eligible for their conference tournament (outside of those commie conferences like the Ivy League that do not hold conference tourneys) gets a chance to continue playing until they lose. That could be one more game and it could be 9 more games. They all get a shot. There are so many improbable and moving stories that pop up through these conference tournaments--and later the NCAA Tournament--that even Ron Borges can find a unique angle from which to report. You can always count on a .500 team (often times one with multiple compass bearings in its name) getting hot in the conference tourney and grabbings a 16 seed or a 18-13 ACC team (usually Marlyand) making a run in the ACC tournament and then using that momentum in the NCAAs. That's why looking back at last year, I should have known better than to give up the fate of the Syracuse Orangemen (I do not observe the "PC" mascot name change) and the legacy of Gerry McNamara. In Gerry's four years at Syracuse, he never disappointed. Ever. If 'Cuse was down 20 with 5 minutes to go, you were only 6 Gerry 3's away from making it a close game. And the thing was that despite how unlikely those 3's would have been, when he didn't bring them back you were a little bit surprised and disappointed. As the year wound down, that disappointment became utter despair. It was pretty clear that while Gerry was going out as perhaps the greatest OrangeMAN of them all, he would be best remembered for his heroics in the championship game of 2003 and spurts of magic throughout the balance of his career and would not receive the fanfare associated with an exit through the NCAAs that he so rightly deserved. It wasn't Gerry's fault, it was the team as a whole. This team was flawed. Sure you could have said the same thing about the 2003 team but you just felt things were different with those guys. This team didn't have that. In fact, they had the opposite of "that." At 19-11 and coming off 4 straight losses (including an ass-kicking at DePaul the likes of which the Boeheim era had never seen) the pundits had ruled 'Cuse NIT bound barring a significant run in the conference tourney. And there was no way this team was making a run. They just had no heart outside of Gerry. Turned out they didn't need anyone else. Over the next four days, Gerry McNamara put on a show at MSG that raised his stature from local icon to national story to legend to Unicorn, Yeti and fucking Easter Bunny all wrapped up in one. It was the most improbable run in Big East Tournament History (no team had won 4 tournament games in a row) and one of the great individual performances on consecutive days by any athlete (nowhere are athletes asked to perform for 4 days straight unless we're talking cricket or iditarod, which we are not).
Here's the chronology: Game 1 Cincinnati - Up comfortably for most of the game, Syracuse suffered their predictable late second half meltdown right on queue. Cincy took the lead with under 3 minutes left to play and 'Cuse struggled to keep up. Down 2 with 5 seconds left, 'Cuse was going to live and die with the only guy they trusted with the ball. After receiving the ball, Gerry hits some traffic around midcourt, sloppily throws the ball behind his back, picks it up--splitting two defenders--and ever so delicately launches a one footed floating tear dropper from the top of the key that drops with less than a second left. In realtime it wasn't clear if he was on or behind the line but a quick check of the replay showed he had deftly squeezed his undersized shoe behind the line prior to the shot. With .5 left, Cincy got off a dangerously close shot to win it but it was not to be. 'Cuse had won on the heels of one of the greatest shots in Big East Tournament History and had likely placed themselves squarely on the bubble of the NCAA tournament. What made the victory even more sweet was the post-game press conference in which the normally subdued Jim Boeheim went balistic about comments printed in the Syracuse newspaper indicating that Gerry McNamara was considered the most overrated player in the league (video evidence posted below). What made the victory depressing was the fact that in order to assure themselves of a seat at the table, Gerry and the fellas had to have a strong showing against the consensus number one team in the nation the following night: UConn.
Game 2 UConn - UConn was not a good matchup for this Syracuse team. The guards were bigger and stronger, the frontline was heads taller and more physical and their depth was outstanding. It didn't help that the last time these two teams faced eachother 'Cuse had lost by 23, and it wasn't even that close. But the killer in this matchup was the fact that Gerry was historically awful against UConn. His scoring average was something like 10pts lower and his shooting percentage was cut in half. It would seem that someone else would have to step up, and on this team that was very unlikely. Remarkably, the game started out with 'Cuse flying out of the gate. They jumped out to a 10-0 lead and were knocking down everything. UConn was playing sloppy basketball and getting into foul trouble. At the half, 'Cuse was up ten and was getting contribution from everywhere, but of course Gerry was leading the way. He was nailing threes and burying off-balanced shots over big fellas in the lane, instead Gerry's game had morphed from featured scorer to distributer and he was keeping the UConn guards off-balance all night by drawing them out and dishing to his suddenly confident teammates all over the floor. With UConn playing so poorly, you knew it was only a matter of time in the second half before they closed the gap. At first, they didn't. Instead, Gerry pumped in a three with 16 minutes left and 'Cuse was up 14. UConn clawed it's way back and soon it was ten points, then 8, then 6 with more than 7 minutes to play. While the fact that UConn was back in the game was almost inevitable, the most deflating aspect of their climb was the manner in which they came back. UConn was methodical in their attack. They were the anti-Cuse. They knew they would get back into it and 'Cuse knew they would let them. After another huge Gerry 3, UConn promptly went on a 9-0 run and with 32 seconds left the dagger was set in place by one of the all-time dagger droppers, Rashad Anderson. He knocked down a clutch 3 and put UConn up for the first time in the game. Now this was Gerry time. Down one with less than 30 seconds left, it's pretty clear where the ball needs to go if you have any basketball sense whatsoever. Of course, Josh Wright does not possess such sense. Inexplicably, option number 8 (Josh Wright) forced up a vomit inducing effort with 12 seconds left following an offensive sequence in which Gerry never laid a paw on the ball (just glancing at those seconds of video gives me heart palpatations). UConn followed with two free throws and now Syracuse had the ball with 11 seconds left in the game down by three. The only play Syracuse had was to get the ball to Gerry and the only defense UConn had was to stop him from getting it. The broadcasters pondered whether or not to foul on the inbounds pass but given Gerry's propensity for the dramatic and UConn's horrendous free throw shooting that would surely be tested if they were to foul early, fouling didn't seem like a great idea. Surprisingly, Gerry took the ball almost uncontested on the inbounds, took a couple of dribbles and launched an off-balance fadeaway from about 6 steps behind the arc that banged in with 5.5 seconds left and almost caused me to blow out both my knees from my vantage point on a New York Sports Club treadmill (I watched the afternoon game via a 2 hour "lunch break" during which I burned roughly 5,000 calories and broke every rule of gym decorum other than the loosely enforced "no jorts" rule.). In overtime, 'Cuse was playing with house money and UConn was too stunned to produce. By the end of it all, 'Cuse had eeked out a two point victory over the number one team in the nation and following the game Gerry looked as though he'd aged a generation over the 41 minutes he was on the floor (putting up 17pts and 13 dimes). Now they were in. Bigger than that, they were on to something. It seemed they had found it and people were taking notice. Tomorrow was Georgetown, a fundamentally sound squad who had punished the Orangemen less than 3 weeks prior. But bigger than Syracuse - Georgetown, tomorrow was a chance to see Gerry. A chance to see if he could do it again.
Game 3 Georgetown - Well it was a good show. A valiant effor to be sure. Syracuse wasn't even supposed to be here and with Gerry sitting 12 minutes in the first half with a groin injury, the clock had finally hit midnight, band had played its last song and the fat lady was hitting some mean vibrato on her final note or just insert whatever cheap cliche you wish. The fact is, it was over. Walking into the lockerroom at halftime, they just looked like a team who had accepted their fate. And considering what their fate was 3 days ago, things weren't so bad. Boeheim wouldn't have it. He ripped into the guys for laying down and giving up. After what Gerry had done for them they were going to repay his effort by handing Georgetown this game? The speech seemed to have an effect on their effort, but not the production. Less than 3 minutes into the second half, they were down 15pts and still couldn't make anything work, but alas they still had Gerard. Gerry had 2pts in the first half and was essentially functioning on one leg. With about 15 minutes left, Gerry went to work. He knocked down three 3's in 5 minutes and helped bring the 'Cuse to pull within one. Georgetown regained their composure and started forcing it inside to the seven footer Hibbert, who was having his way with the 'Cuse frontline. Inside of 5 minutes, things just got weird. It was back and forth action with multiple parties stepping up. Big shot by Devendorf, a swat by Mookie and a CLUTCH 3 by the career woodsman Matt (The Gormantrix) Gorman. Georgetown was game to the task and never let 'Cuse do anything with the fleeintg momentum they would gain. With about a minute left, 'Cuse called a timeout. During the timeout, you could hear JT III imploring his guys to keep McNamara from getting a shot off. It was as if he was the only player on the court capable of scoring and JT III would stop him at any cost. Despite the clear instructions, Gerry managed to get the ball and free himself from a few defenders. He headed for the hole with his hair on fire. Seeing that Gerry had escaped, the monster in the middle, Roy Hibbert, began the lengthy trek out to the three point line to stop him. Gerry never flinched. He buried his fifth three of the game in Hibbert's grill and put 'Cuse within one. If that moment was absolute pandemonium the next possession, mayhem ensued. The entire crowd was screaming Gerry's name despite the fact that he was on defense and likely would not get another chance to handle the ball. 'Cuse alum Derrick Coleman was on his feet and whipping the crowd into a frenzy and Georgetown--still up one--was just trying to hold on. After crossing half-court, Georgetown messed around for awhile probably assuming 'Cuse would foul, but when the clock began to run down and no foul came they had to do something. GTown's Jeff Green started for the hoop, Demetris Nichols swatted at the ball and for a second it was loose. Dead silence. Eyes bulged, sneakers squeaked and the ball bounced unpossessed looking for a home. The fate of the 'Cuse run lay in the balance. Before you even had a chance to realize what was going on, Gerry had it and was going the other way. With under 10 seconds left, Gerry darted up the floor on a 2-on-1 break. Everyone knew he was takin the last shot. Would he stop and pop it, drive and hope for a foul or rise up and throwdown a massive 360 windmill (at this point anything seemed possible). Well the "1" of the 2-on-1, Asanti Cook, had no idea how he was going to do it but knew Gerry would take it. We all knew he'd take it and we all knew he'd make it. So Gerry dished it. Eric Devendorf layed it in to put 'Cuse up 1 with 1.5 seconds left. The turn of events left the young Georgetown team shattered. They got off a scary shot on target but once again Gerry and the 'Cuse survived. At this point, people were in disbelief. Just 3 days ago this team was NIT bound and McNamara the most overrated player in the league. 15 minutes ago Syracuse was down 15 points and putting the kind of half-hearted effort they were notorious for that season. Now, they were one game away from the single most unlikely of Tournament Championship runs since the league began holding tournament. The tabloids were Gerry, SportsCenter was Gerry, hell even my friendly Iranian bodega guy was talking Gerry. There's no way he could do it a fourth time? He barely made it through this game.
Game 4 Pitt - This time there would be no letdown. 'Cuse played this entire game with the energy and spirit they should have been feeding off for the entire year. THIS was the team that exemplified the grit of its leader. 'Cuse jumped out to an early 15pt lead and allowed a noticeably battered Gerry to rest for more lengthy periods of the first and early second half. But for a 3 minute span midway through the second half, Pitt never really got much going but did pull ahead during this brief span. The shortlived lead was killed by Gerry and was best described by Pete Thamel of the New York Times whose succinctness captures the feeling of the final game. This was not a contest, it was a formality:
"With the momentum having swung to the Panthers, Boeheim called a timeout. McNamara then got open for a 3-point attempt from the left side. He promptly buried it, and Syracuse never trailed again."
Syracuse won by four and Gerry finished with 14pts, a body full of bruises and 18,000 loyal subjects who seemingly forgot that anyone else was on the floor and were probably still screaming "GERRY! GERRY!" well into the night. After the game there were tears, hugs, and some great shots of Gerry wearing a shirt with the phrase "Overrated?" on it. The night couldn't go on long enough.
'Cuse lost in the first round of the NCAA tournament a few days later but the buzz of the Big East Tournament still had not worn off on me. It was unreal. Anytime I stopped and thought about it I was amazed. This team wasn't supposed to be there. Gerry simply willed them to win and would not be denied. I've rooted for some guys who've come up big in the clutch (Papi, Brady, Van Nostrand...) but I've never been part a series of games where a player put on such a show. It may not have been the greatest run by a 'Cuse team in my time as a fan as it'd be hard to top the 2003 title, but those 4 days on the stage of the self-proclaimed "Mecca of Basketball" were frickin great theater by 'Cuse's finest performer. Ever.
Even if that Big East Title banner gets old and musty in the rafters of the Dome, this will never get old. (Not safe for work unless you work as a longshoreman.)
P.S. The Bakersfield Jam lost 2 heartbreakers over the weekend and once again Gerry's minutes are diminishing further in the wake of the Mateen Cleaves era. On Saturday, in under 20 minutes of play, he scored only 8pts, dished out 2 dimes and grabbed two boards. On Sunday, he got a little more PT and scored a little more (13pts in 24 minutes. Imagine what he could do in 40 minutes Coach Harrick!). PICK IT UP GERARD!
As many of you know, Gerry McNamara is displaying his skillz for the D-League's Bakersfield Jam. Until he finally reaches his goal of the NBA, I'll be giving updates as to Gerry's progress because the mainstream liberal media seems to be ignoring him largely due to his roots from conservative Scranton, PA. Well mainstream media be damned. Gerry will be featured on this space as often as I can remember to post about him. To date, Gerry has started 26 of the 28 games he's played with Bakersfield but with the recent addition of Mateen Cleaves, he may see a precipitour drop in PT. Last night Bakersfield lost a heartbreaker to the Idaho Stampede 111-110. There's no recap of the game listed, but it looks like it was pretty close. Gerry pumped in 7pts in only 22 minutes. On the season he's averaging 12pts and 6.2 assists per game. He needs to step up his 3 point percentage which sits at a lowly 28%. Word is that if Reggie Miller isn't scooped up by the Mavs, their next look is Gerry. Or so I would have everyone believe.
Not so much an "Ode" as much as a quick set of facts. Don't judge, just read the fucker.
When you think of the name Fred Taylor, the first word phrase that comes to mind is probably "pulled hamstring." Or if you're like me and draft him three rounds too early in your Fanta C League because you just KNOW this is the year that Freddy's gonna revert to 2003 (or preferably 1998) form and make you look like a genius, then the first phrase that comes to mind is the mental conversation at the fantasy draft that goes something like this: "don't do it don't do it don't do it, he's just gonna make you cry...." Uh, I'll take Fred Taylor. Which is why some people might do a double-take when they see that Freddy Taylor signed a 4 year extension with the Jags through 2010. The deal amounts to a total of $23 million and a guarantee of $5 million through next year. Almost a twofold salary increase for the oft-injured former Gator. Fred has only made it through an entire season without missing time due to injury twice in his 9 season NFL career. What Fred does bring to the table is a hefty helping of talent and versatility in the same way that Tiki Barber and Thurman Thomas did. That's right. I said it. Tiki Barber and Thurman Thomas. The problem is that you never see Fred mentioned in the same breath as either of these guys largely because of the stigma associated with his frequent injuries. With Thurman's induction into the NFL Hall of Fame this year, we've got to start thinking about Freddy's place in history. I'm not shitting you. Take a look at the stats:
Depending on what goes on with Corey Dillon, Taylor could enter the season the leading all-time rusher amongst active players. Barring a career ending injury (the odds of which are about 70/30) we can safely project Freddy to play another 2 years. Even with the emergence of MoJo Drew, if Freddy does anything even close to what he put up last year (1146yds @ 5.0yds/car, 5tds, 23 rec. 242yds. 200 more yards on the ground than Drew.), he'll break the 10,000yd marker, blow past Tiki in rushing yards and maybe catch the prolific Thomas in Rushing Tds. The following year he will approach Thomas in rushing yards and will creep ever closer to 3,000 receiving yards. If he plays a third year, well, we'll have bigger fish to fry when it starts raining battery acid and the seas fill with feces and flood all the earth's land. You could probably go to Vegas and make up your odds if you wanted to bet on the chances that Freddy makes it through the next three years, but if he does, he'll likely qualify for the Hall of Fame. Fred Taylor, NFL Hall of Famer. That's a pretty f'd up thought.
Well to start, I should probably clarify that this is not a college basketball blog. At least not exclusively a college basketball blog. Finding a title for these things is difficult. You either want to be clever, hilarious, polarizing or pigeon hole yourself into a specific category. I, obviously, went with cleverly hilarious and polarizing with a hint of pigeon hole. I went through a couple names before finally deciding on this one. And while the blog's title is most certainly odd and not necessarily indicative of the conversation contained within its borders, it is a true statement. I won't go so far as to say I hate Quin Snyder (though I admit I've uttered those exact words at deafening volumes following the ingestion of a disgusting amount of fermented canned beverages), but I do harbor feelings of anger towards the man for reasons beyond even my comprehension. I grew up a Syracuse fan (with a brief stint as a Siena fan in the late 80's early 90's during their run of "prominence" in the Marc "Biz" Brown era. I had backstage access to the team because my family is friends with then Coach Mike Deane. I also owned a "Can't Touch Biz" t-shirt, which I wore until the white threads literally became see through.), and developed a hatred for the Georgetown team that closed Manley Fieldhouse, the UConn teams from the mid-90's on and later the Pittsburgh team that frustrates its opponents with its hard-nosed play today. Those were my rivals in college basketball and I hated those teams and those players on into the pros. Syracuse was only matched up with Snyder's Mizzou team three times to my recollection, and I think 'Cuse won all of those meetings. They are in no way rivals. They are hardly a factor in today's game after Quin's unceremonious tumble from "grace" amid recruiting scandals and rumors of him abusing the yayo. Snyder probably doesn't need some bozo who has no vested interest in Missouri basketball smiting his name further through a blog who's content has relatively little to do with him, but that's what I intend to do. And why may you ask? I just don't like the guy. I can't explain it, but I think my irrational feelings towards Q offer a perfect example of how people feel about sports. You grow up liking and disliking certain teams. Often times those feelings are passed down from generations like some bizarre mental birthright with no street value other than the ability to get your ass kicked if you display this "right" in the wrong stadium or circumstance. But aside from your hometown or birthright allegiance, most fans have an opinion about players they have no rooting interest in. They just feel like liking or disliking that person, player or team for some unknown reason. I think Allen Iverson is a great example of this. Even if you're not a Philly fan, you probably have an opinion about Iverson, good, bad or otherwise. I guess I grew up a Celtics fan but I was drawn into the Kenny Anderson / DrazenPetrovic / Derrick Coleman Nets of the early 90's. I have no idea why, but I just liked those guys (it didn't hurt that Kenny and DC could light it up in NBA JAMS). It may have had something to do with DC coming from 'Cuse, but more than anything I was drawn to Drazen and Kenny, neither of whom I had any prior connection. They were my guys despite the fact that I had no rational allegiance And for some reason I feel as passionately about Quin Snyder as I did about that Nets team. I wish the man ill-will and was generally pleased to hear that he was involved in a recruiting scandal, and I normally don't celebrate the pain of others. Snyder's an exception. I loathe the man for no reason other than that ever since I first saw him on the TV screen, I just knew I didn't like him. He was my anti--Drazen. So there you have it. I can't explain it any better than that. Hopefully I'll be able to sum up other points more clearly or this thing may not work.
As for the content here, I'm going to keep the conversation pretty general. I've also made the decision not to use the "royal we," though I'm not judging those who do. I intend to add stuff as it comes up and will try and offer a unique if not "edgy" side to sports. I'll be HEAVY into Fantasy Sports as I run teams that span from the usual (Football, Baseball, Basketball) to the obscure (Bass Fishing, Stockcar Racing, South American Soccer). Yes, I "run" these teams in the same way Steinbrenner "runs" the Yanks. And no, I do not go home and paint my model civil war figurines in preparation for this weekend's recreation of the Battle of Antietam. I'd like to think I can offer an objective view to often polarizing subjects. I have wanted to do this for awhile but have only now found the time to get things go. It could be a little hairy in the beginning, but hopefully things will work out. And maybe we'll learn to love eachother. I think Quin would like that.
(Blog title has changed but loathing of Q remains steadfast)
Shameless Sox, Pats and 'Cuse fan. I consider myself fairly objective but harbor an unhealthy (and unexplainable) loathing for Quin Snyder.
Hit me up at luoldang@yahoo.com if you have something hilarious to say.
A little backstory... After Guerrero's untimely death in 2005, Cowherd went on his radio show and said that Guerrero's death was due to steroids. No cause of death had been made public but Cowherd's assertion was that everyone in wrestling does them and it oftern leads to early death. The response from the "booger eaters" (Herd's nickname for wrestling fans who live in their parents' basement) that day was in the way of a flood of calls to the ESPN phone lines, all demanding Cowherd's head. They (the booger eaters) actually succeeded in shutting down the ESPN switchboard. Cowherd never apologized but ESPN itself put together an apology statement. Well fast forward to this week, the HGH probe implicated several wrestlers (including Guerrero) and the official cause of Guerrero's death was listed as heart failure due to an enlarged heart. One released report related many of the conditions leading to Guerrero's death as consistent with prescription and performance enhancing drug use. Well after the linkage of the wrestlers came out, Herd used his ENTIRE 4 hour show on Tuesday to say, in many, many words, "I was right, you were wrong." He sounded like a whiny 4 year-old. It was ridiculous radio and the worst part is that nobody other than he cares. The reason I like Cowherd is because of his bombast and ability to make fun of himself as well as his listeners. He took this WAY too seriously. It fucking sucked. 
Staying with the announcer critiques, how the F does Walt Clyde Frazier stay above the fray in all of this? He is perhaps the single worst announcer of all-time. He only occasionally points out anything other than the obvious and his only real contribution is his otherwordly performance with Keith Hernandez in the Just For Men Commercial. He is most widely recognized for his improper usage of words I learned in Sally Vrooman's SAT Prep Course featuring "Tooth and Nail: A Novel Approach to the SAT." He is absolutely ridiculous and it's about time someone called him out on it. It seems so easy. Is someone not telling me something here? I truly don't get it.
What the F happened to the band Everclear? After releasing "Santa Monica," they had so much promise to lead a genre of music struggling for identity in the post-grunge era. Instead, they turned into a cross between Weird Al and The Offspring. Their devolution was one of the more bizarre wastes of talent in the last quarter century. It may have had something to do with the fact that they were perhaps the single worst live band I've ever seen, and I've seen Howard Jones, Tracy Bonham and the Goo Goo Dolls.... THREE FUCKING TIMES!
Speaking of America being ashamed, what the F is going on with American cinema? How could Norbit and Wild Hogs pull in the most money in any weekend. I'm honestly concerned about the collective state of our nation's sense of humor or simply our collective sense in general. What the F, USA? 
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