Marcus McCauley's Dad Is Kinda Like Marv Marinovich, Just Crazier & Ex-Con-ier

It can't be easy to give on-field critiques to your son while he's playing corner: SWIVEL YOUR HIPS, SON! SWIVEL YOUR FUCKING HIPS OUT THERE! But Marcus McCauley's dad finds a way.
You know those guys. The dad's that take their 5 year-old son aside before an at-bat to talk about not "stepping in the bucket" or find their 8 year-old on the sideline after the QB gets sacked to ask him why he didn't notice the Mike Linebacker clearly preparing to shoot the 2 gap. The sons of those guys usually end up quitting sports altogether by age 12 and wearing eye makeup or else the dad eventually backs off and laughs at his former self. Either way, it's very rare that the combination of crazy dad and a son who listens to him continues into the kid's teenage year and beyond. Well apparently Marcus McCauley and his dad didn't get the message.

McCauley is a stud d-back for the Vikes who will eventually work himself into the starting lineup. Marcus McCauley's dad is that crazy guy you can hear on the sidelines screaming at his son:

For as long as McCauley Jr. can remember, Marcus McCauley Sr. was perceived to be a loudmouth, a rabble-rouser, an overbearing parent, and, as an ex-con, ill-equipped to guide his son's athletic career.
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McCauley Sr. steered many of his son's decisions, from joining the track and field team to improve his athleticism, to switching high schools, to selecting Fresno State over California, to completing his degree and even choosing an agent. In the process, McCauley Sr. offended many people, especially coaches, but McCauley Jr. credits his father for helping him achieve his NFL dream

McCauley Sr. said: "I think sometimes people get the wrong perception of me, because my voice carries, and I can get loud.

"But the bottom line is, I'm not going to pacify and shoot my son no b.s., because what good is that going to do him? If I don't have his back, who will?"

Ummm, maybe someone who hasn't spent time in prison? Or perhaps someone who doesn't have such a vested interest in his success?

Overall, it's a pretty interesting article about the unique relationship between papa McCauley and perhaps the best corner selected in the draft. I don't want to go into the entire article but I'd be remiss if I didn't finish with the bizarre word choice McCauley used to sum up just how serious his dad is about having his back:

My dad would fight a dragon with a water bottle behind me."

So is it that the water bottle is behind you and your dad has to go through you to get it in order to fight the dragon? Or is it that he'd fight the dragon even though there is a water bottle behind you that would serve as better ammunition against the dragon and he wouldn't even need it because he is so strong that he could defeat the dragon sans water bottle? Or is it that the dragon would want the water bottle so badly that he would be extremely agitated about it and therefore would be tougher to fight? I guess what I'm getting at here is: what the fuck does the water bottle have to do with anything?