Thursday, March 6, 2008

Bucknell Bison Buzzer Beater Bankjob... FROM FORTY FUCKIN FEET!

The title of this post is tight (como se dice "alliteration"?). BU is 12-18 after beating Navy and heading into the Semis against suddenly struggling Colgate. Can they pull another one out of their ass? Tune in and find out.*

*Semifinal game will not be broadcast nationally.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008 Chooses Odd Photo To Honor Notre Dame's Harangody

"Sloth loves ball."

Congratulations are in order to ND's Luke Harangody for receiving the well deserved accolade of Second Team All-American on's list for 2007-2008. Unfortunately for Luke--a gent who is not the most photogenic of folk to begin with--the picture SI used for the online article makes him look as though someone slapped him on the back when he was young and that face he was making stuck. Holy cross-eyed batman.

Curse of The Double Deuce

Yet another reason why I love YouTube. Geniuses like the guy who put together the above "Oscar style" montage.

Well, fortunately, it turns out that reports of Patrick Swayze's demise were greatly exaggerated. And thank God because after Brett Favre left this earthly realm, the world was not ready for the passing of yet another American Icon. What? Brett's not dead? Oh... well then why the fuck is everyone freaking out about him? Anyhoo, the news of Swayze's affliction on top of this weekend's passing of blind Canadian Guitarist Jeff Healy at the far too young age of 41 (maybe it's just me but I thought his death would receive much more publicity than it did) led me to wonder what is going on with the cast of Road House? It seems that some of the major players are kicking the bucket in quick succession (or at least two of them almost did). So I ask: Is the cast of Road House cursed? And lest you think I'm overreacting, just check out the list of some of the more unfortunate fates of the cast members below (Actor's name - role in Road House - demise):

Chris Latta - Bar Patron - "Now deceased actor and cartoon voice specialist, Chris Latta plays a bar patron who offers his wife's assets to be fondled for twenty dollars. This situation eventually starts one of the many bar brawls. Latta is best known for being the voice of Cobra Commander (G.I. Joe) and Starscream (Transformers)"

Sunshine Parker - Emmett - Deceased 1999

Jeff Healy - Cody - Deceeased 2008

Kelly Lynch - Dr. Elizabeth Clay - Turned down the Sharon Stone role in Basic Instinct (1992).

Ben Gazzara - Brad Wesley - One foot in the grave (not that he's ill, just old)

Dennis Ott - Bar Character - Deceased 1994 (AIDS)

Chino 'Fats' Williams - Derelict - Deceased 2000

Jasae - Strip Joint Girl - starred in porn classics like "The Barefoot Alien 2: The Foot Erotic" under the sobriquet Elise Di Medici and produced such gems as "Cloak and Gag 'Er".

Ancel Cook - Grillman - Deceased 2001

Red West - Red Webster - Old as dirt and almost dead.

That is a laundry list of actors who have suffered terrible fates. Sure some of them were old and died as a result of their age but others suffered such bizarre fates that it's hard to think it can all be just a coincidence. There are greater forces at work here. Sam Elliott better watch his ass...

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

JJ Redick, Doin Duke Proud

I f'n hate Duke, but I love airballed layups.

Tyree's Tecmo Snatch

I stole this directly from the Sports Guy's links but it was so good I couldn't help myself. Plus, I'll use any excuse I can get to put Tecmo Bowl footage on my site.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Why Isn't Barry Bonds On The Angels?

Cripes, even high school Barry would be an upgrade to the current Angels lineup.

The Mariners got Erik Bedard, the Rangers young team is a year older and their pitching depth is outstanding and the A's always seem to put together a competitive team. So how did the deep pocketed Anaheim Angels keep up this offseason? They picked up the 32 year-old Torii Hunter and journeyman Jon Garland. Whooopfuckineee. Take a look at their projected lineup:

Figgins (S)
Kendrick (R)
Guerrero (R)
Hunter (R)
Anderson (L) or Matthews (S)
Juan Rivera (R)
Kotchman (L)
Aybar (S)
Napoli (R)

Do you notice anything missing? I mean, yeah Torii Hunter provides some protection to Vlad. Or at least more protection than Garret Anderson would when healthy, but where is the lefty threat? Kotchman can't hit for shit (19HRs in 764 ABs) and none of their switch hitters have any real power. Right now Juan Rivera is filling the DH position and while he does have decent power, that lineup looks a little different with Barry Lamar Bonds in the 3 hole.

Figgins (S)
Kendrick (R)
Bonds (L)
Guerrero (R)
Hunter (R)
Anderson (L) or Matthews (S)
Kotchman (L)
Aybar (S)
Napoli (R)

Bonds-Guerrero-Hunter? Now THAT is a middle of the lineup you can be proud of. You put a guy in front of Guerrero who gets on base over 50% of the time. You have speed on the bases in front of Bonds and protection behind him. When Chone Figgins used to get on base, he'd get moved over by Kendrick, Guerrero would be pitched around and you'd hope some limp dick like Anderson or Rivera wouldn't strike out. Now, you move Figgins to second and you can't pitch around Bonds because you've got 1st and 2nd with one out and the free swinging Guerrero on deck. With Bonds you extend the game because the other team can't throw their righty straight through the middle of the lineup. With Bonds as the DH you can almost he would project to hit double the combined projected HRs of all other lefties in that lineup and increase the total home runs the Angels hit by about 15-20%. It allows you so much more flexibility with your bench because you can pinch Rivera at almost anywhere in the lineup and have the best bench in the league with the likes of Matthews/Anderson, Kendry Morales and Maicer Izturis, not to mention Reggie Willits waiting in the wings for some speed.

Now clearly I'm skimming over the elephant in the room about the moral flexibility that a team must have in order to put a Bonds on their team, but this is a team currently featuring Mitchell Report All-Star Gary Matthews, Jr. and Paul Byrd, Troy Glaus and Brendan Donnelly were all Angels when they were documented to having been involved in PEDs. So the Angels clearly can't stand on too high a moral highground. The bottom line here is that the division is much better, the American League is much better and the Angels are not yet much better. They could be. In fact, they could be the team to beat in the AL West. All they need is some lefty meat in that lineup. And he and his 12 ring circus are just up the street.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Jerry Porter Got Paid What?

The Jags would've been better off setting fire to $30 million ($10 million guaranteed) than giving it to Jerry Porter.

Here's Jerry Porter's resume:

1. Laughed at his teammates as they got their asses kicked on the field.
2. Refused to play hard because his coach wouldn't allow champagne in the training facility.
3. Walked out of a practice because it was taking too long.
4. Parked in Al Davis' parking spot.
5. Suspended from his team (twice) as a result of the above incidents.
6. Plays the wide receiver position at a very average level.

So he's a clubhouse killing ne'erdowell who doesn't even have the decency to produce on the field. And the rough-and-tumble Jags are giving him $30 million over the next 6 years? Jerry Porter can probably thank Randy Moss for this gratuity but at least Randy at one point in his career had the decency to produce. Jerry Porter hasn't done shit and they don't have a QB who can get him the ball enough to keep Porter from becoming a problem, again. This ain't gonna end well...

Swami ManRammy: Manny The Meditator

Why did Manny skip the White House trip? History and Yoga, obviously.

The guy just never disappoints. Whether it's with the bat or an off-the-field oddity, Manny Ramirez always keeps us guessing. But after the latest tidbit about the personal habits of Manuel Ramirez, I think I'm all guessed out:
...hearing the president in person was not as important to Ramirez as maintaining his relatively new interest in a form of meditation called Mantra Yoga.

It is his new passion for his down time, and he had some of that on Wednesday. So when asked if he needed a presidential remark to feel important, he said he did not.

“I was doing meditation in my house, so I feel more important,” Ramirez said. “That’s what I do now. In my time off, I read books and I meditate. That’s what I do.”

Ramirez said he is reading history books, most having to do with the Dominican Republic. When the books are closed, he is engaging in Mantra Yoga, introduced to him by his uncle Rico.

Asked to explain what it is like, Ramirez said, “I don’t know how to explain it to you in English,” and he added that it would be difficult in Spanish, as well.

So it’s hard to put into words.

“Yeah, but I like it,” Ramirez said.

He said there is no stretching involved, and that it involves “concentration and stuff like that.”
"concentration and stuff like that..." Obviously Manny has a deep understanding with the depth of the craft. I don't know where we go from here but it seems that, as usual, there is much more to the ManRam than meets the eye.