Friday, October 19, 2007

Check That, Josh Beckett Is My Hero


If you don't know what they're talking about, yesterday, the lady Cleveland brought in to sing the National Anthem used to date Beckett. His response to this question is just fantastic.

Josh Beckett Is Kind Of A Badass....


I don't have a whole lot to add to this but last night's performance was really nasty and in an angry kinda "don't even think about fucking with me" kinda way. Yes, I'm talking to you, Kenny Lofton. I would've loved to see those two square off. It'd be like that big guy taking on that spider monkey dude in Bloodsport. Beckett would've bear hugged him to death.

I like that the Sox have a guy that the other team hates. It makes me nostalgic for Petey in a good way.

And Tim McCarver Is Kind Of A Douchebag

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP THIS GUY!

Of course Manny was supposed to get to second base last night on the drive to right that was absolutely a home run! We FUCKING GET IT ALREADY TIMMY! And it WOULD HAVE BEEN A HUGE DEAL if Lowell had made contact with the ball in the next at bat. But he didn't. Manny's baserunning gaffe had the potential to be a huge deal in a one run game that looked as though runs were going to be scarce. BUT SAVE YOUR SELF-RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATIION FOR WHEN IT ACTUALLY AFFECTS THE FUCKING GAME! Manny's trot to first base did not impact the outcome of the game ONE FUCKING IOTA and McCarver treated the situation as if Manny just took him in a backroom and tried to tie him down and fist him. Lost in all of the bullshit was the fact that Manny's home run won the Red Sox the game. Oh, but that it FAR less important than his lack of hustle. Get over yourself you old fucking prick. Retire already and spare us your mindless rants, countless errors and homespun moral compatude (how's that for a word!).

Also, I hate you.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

TORRE TURNS DOWN YANKS OFFER


I'm not sure I've ever been more proud of a human being than I am Joe Torre right now. The Yanks let the guy twist in the wind for a fucking week and change, they lowball him with a 1 year deal for less money than he made with a performance based option and he flies down to Tampa to say "Guys, it's been fun but go fuck yourselves." And then he leaves. Fan-fuckin-tastic.

Marked Manny

Yes, Manny Ramirez is all that is wrong with baseball and the world in general. I hate it when a guy has the time of his life and entertains me.

There are some things in this world that you just can't explain. Why do farts smell worse in the shower? Why is the word "brassiere" singular yet the word "pants" (and or panties) is plural? Why does bum piss smell worse than non-bum piss? Why do asian people make the best mexican food? And why does Manny do the things he does? There are no good answers to any of these. But the bigger question for me, at least as it pertains to Manny, is: why the fuck does anyone give a shit? What is so offensive about Manny Ramirez?

I am a dyed-in-the-wool ManRam fan. I bought his jersey days after he was purchased by the Red Sox in 2000. That jersey is stained with beer & spit from the bleacher seats in Yankee stadium, Jack Daniel's residue from Stan's and mustard and sweat from Game 5 of the 2004 ALCS at Fenway. He has provided me with my favorite moments as a Red Sox fan including an opposite field shot at Citizen's Bank that came within 3 feet of plugging my girlfriend in the face (while I stood motionless admiring it as it tailed right at us. And the moment isn't my favorite because it almost killed my girlfriend but because how cool it was to watch it sail so close to us and then hit the dude standing right next to us). I am way beyond biased when it comes to Manny. I can in no way react objectively to what Manny does on the field or off of it. But then again, neither can anyone else.

Third to Barry Bonds and A-Rod, no other player is as polarizing as Manny Ramirez. You either love him or hate him. Purists and baseball tough guys hate Manny Ramirez because he doesn't "bust out of the box" or run out pop-ups and watches his home runs for far too long. They feel that Manny's relaxed attitude is an affront to the game and the people that came before who allowed him to make $160 million. Manny Ramirez offends those people. My question is, why? What about him makes you so mad? Is it that you think he's a dickhead and is mean-spirited when he stands at the plate and watches his other-worldy bombs plug unassuming spectators in the 20th row of the bleachers? Is it that you think he doesn't try hard enough and isn't earning his paycheck? Is it that you think he doesn't care about winning? Because if those are your reasons, you have no clue what you're talking about. Let me parse through them in order.

Manny is a child. Almost literally. Those who have met him weave tales of his, how shall I put this, "simplicity." He's not splitting atoms nor is he reading the Science Times about the recent advances in the splitting of atoms (he's probably not reading "Hop on Pop" for that matter either). He's been pampered since he was young because he could hit a baseball better than anyone and he never really had to do much for himself. In the same way you can create a book filled with mangled english from speeches by our current President, you could fill a tome with wacky and bizarre tales of Manny Ramirez. Between stories about players finding stacks of uncashed paychecks in Manny's locker, Manny peeing in the green monster during the game, Manny diving to catch a cutoff throw (I wish there was video of this somewhere. That was one of the top 5 funniest things I've ever seen) or Manny conditioning any free agent agreement on the inclusion of his favorite clubhouse guy, Manny is one of the weirdest dudes playing sports today. But none of what he does has any malice or negative intent.

Manny doesn't pose at home plate to show up the guy he just hit the home run off. When asked yesterday, Manny said:
"Man, I'm just happy to do something special like that," Ramírez said yesterday. "I'm not trying to show up anybody out there. I'm just trying to go have fun. If somebody strikes me out and shows me up, that's part of the game. I love it. I like that. I like to compete, and when people strike me out or whatever and they show me up, it's all good. There's no hard feelings. I'm not trying to show anybody up."
He poses because he is f'n pumped that he hit the ball so far (Buster Olney had a great line on the radio today when he offered up what goes on inside Manny's head when he hits a home run and watches it. To paraphrase, he guessed Manny's thoughts went something like "Hey!!!!! I hit a home run! Look how far I hit that!"). And while his "non-malicious intent" probably doesn't absolve him from fault for acting like an idiot in the eyes of those who already don't like the guy, it should at least offer some perspective.

While some may disagree, I think there's a huge difference between Milton Bradley standing and watching a home run while scowling at a pitcher who previously hit him and Manny Ramirez raising his arms after hitting the "to-back" portion of a back-to-back-to-back home run in a game in which his team is down 4 runs. Milton Bradley wants the other guy to feel badly about what just happened. Manny wants you to know how excited HE is about what happened. Is it bad baseball manners either way? Sure. But it's like the difference between being angry at a puppy for chewing up your shoes and being mad at your dad for chewing up your shoes (that's a bizarre analogy I know). And on a small tangent about the Game 4 home run in particular, I don't really get the outrage with Manny posing for the 3 home run in game 4. Yes, Manny looks like an idiot. But why should that make anyone angry? He was psyched, his team was psyched, but they were still down a ton and then the Indians shut them down. At the moment, it was a relatively big deal. If the Sox were up 4 runs, THEN you'd have a right to be angry because he was rubbing it in whether he knew he was doing it or not. But why are you mad at someone else making themselves look stupid. I'll never understand that...

Thh second and third reasons that people don't like Manny that I posed above are similar. He doesn't try hard enough to earn his huge paycheck and he doesn't care enough. First, he's probably the best right handed hitter since, well, whenever. He had arguably his worst year ever this year and still hit near .300 and knocked in almost 100 runs. He's also an unreal postseason hitter and in 88 games has hit 24 home runs (the most in the history of the postseason). Since 2003 he's hit .300 and above in every postseason series in which he's appeared (he's hitting .462 in this series). He's also arguably the most diligent tape watcher and batting practice participant on the team (and some say in the league). He has honed his craft to such perfection that he can hit a down and away slider almost 500 feet while most righties have trouble hitting it past the pitcher's mound. But because he doesn't run out a pop up to second base, he's not trying hard enough for everyone. Let's just say that I'm glad Manny has spent more time on down and away sliders than wind sprints.

The third argument that Manny doesn't care enough stems from his general demeanor and his quote yesterday:
If it doesn't happen, so who cares? There's always next year. It's not like the end of the world or something.
What they fail to mention when speaking of this quote is what else he said:
"We're just going to go have fun and play the game," he said. "That's it. If we go play hard and the thing doesn't come like it's supposed to come, we'll move on. We'll come next year. Why should we panic? We've got a great team. If it doesn't happen, good. We'll come next year and try to do it again.

"We're confident every day. It doesn't matter how things go for you. We're not going to give up."

"We've got a great team over here and the other side is playing great. They're pitching the way they should and they're coming through with big hits. What can you do? You just think about [tonight] and you just try to come and play hard and have fun. It's not over yet."
So to summarize: he's having fun playing baseball, no ones panicking and he's confident that his team can play well and win this series. But if they don't win, he's not going to light himself on fire. The gall of that guy! Gimme a fucking break. Just because Manny doesn't whine like Paul O'Neill and Kevin Youkilis doesn't mean he gives any less a shit when he loses. He just looks like less of a dickhead doing it then those two.

Here's my final point (of what has become a long-winded series of points), Manny Ramirez looks as though he is having more fun on the baseball field than anyone else. At the same time he's more locked in at the plate than anyone I can ever remember seeing. He rarely barks at a bad strike call he never airs his team's laundry in the media he never complains about the media (he rarely talks at all) and he's one of the hardest workers on the team. And when he does break the gilded rules of baseball decorum, he does it because he is completely oblivious to them and does it out of the pure joy of the moment or a lack of understanding that people give a shit about such things.

So You can hate Manny for what you perceive to be a lack of respect for the game; you have that right. You can continue to cheer for the guy who busts it down the line, hits .270 and always says the right thing. I'll continue rooting for that crazy fellow with the disgusting clown hair, ridiculous habit of finger pointing after reaching on a single that should have been a double. The one with shit-eating grin and the ability to hit a ball as well as anyone who's picked up a bat. You know the guy, the one who looks like he's having the time of his life. Yeah, I'll be cheering that guy.

Some gratuitous Manny:

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

More Fun With Search Terms

"YAY! I finally found Grady's crank!"

It's been some time since I posted one of these but in that time there has been some pretty good stuff. So here goes.

Let's dispense with the usual suspects:

"grady sizemore's cock" 11 times
"grady sizemore cock" 7 times


It continues to amaze me. Here are a few other good ones:

"bigger pussy" 6 times
"human neutering" 3 times
"jacobs field handjob" 2 times
"mateen cleaves pics + giant head" 2 times
grady sizemore robocop


That last one is a real head scratcher. But here are my 4 favorites:

helping mean people get it

Yeah, how can we help mean people "get it?" That is a really good question. Mean people suck. More:

"marc bulger shirtless" 3 times

Who on God's green earth is searching for Marc Bulger shirtless? My guess is that Bulger just got bored while injured and starting looking for shit about himself on the internet. That one threw me for a loop. And three separate searches? Holy crap.

Here's my second favorite of the week:

"hannah montana boner worthy"

First, this search is highly inappropriate. The chick is 14 years-old. The person who used this search term is in need of some serious help. I'm putting my life (and freedom) in my hands even posting it (though I'm certainly not endorsing it), but the fact that the phrase "boner worthy" was used was what got me. I didn't know that turd of a phrase was still kickin around. But my favorite search term for this post was most certainly the following:

how do you know if they have a big pussy?

There's a question for the ages. I think that was one of the questions that drove Godel mad.

As the Sports Feller would say, yup, these are my keyword/phrase searchers....

Patrick Crayton, You Are Stupid


With so much focus on the Pats offense in this past weekend's beat down of Dallas, the Pats defensive performance was overlooked by many. It shouldn't have been. The Pats held Dallas almost 100 yards below their average passing total and 40 yards under their average rushing total. TO led the team in receiving yards with 66 yards, which was the first time this year no Dallas receiver had more than 90 yards and only the second time no Dallas WR had less than 100. The Pats D also managed to make Jason Witten pretty much a non-factor. If not for that bogus fumble return, this game would have been even more laughable that it already was. The defensive effort was impressive. Dallas WR Patrick Crayton, however, was not impressed:

Cowboys receiver Patrick Crayton told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram yesterday that he was less than impressed with New England's defense. "Offensively, they are the real deal. I'm not going to lie about that. Defensively, I can tell you no, they're not," Crayton said. "They're not [that good] at all. The only time they stopped us is when we had penalties. If that's stopping us, it is what it is. Defensively, they are not the real deal."
First, Crayton is not entirely correct. The Pats forced 3 and outs on the Cowboys first 3 possessions. No penalties were accrued by the Boys during those possessions. In fact, I could only find two drives that were adversely impacted by Cowboy penalties.

But all of that is not really the point here. The point is who the fuck is Patrick Crayton? Isn't this the same Patrick Crayton who has never caught more than 36 balls over an entire season? The same guy who has 2 100 yard games in his entire career? The same Patrick Crayton who wouldn't even be on the field if Terry Glenn was healty? Am I mistaken, or isn't this the same guy. I'm not saying that fringe NFL players can't call out other teams, nor do I generally mind bravado or zany antics (I'm prepared to defend Manny's posing to the death), but how is Patrick Crayton in anyway qualified to comment on what a "real deal" defense actually is? How the fuck would he know? He certainly didn't face one at Northwestern Oklahoma State and though they played as if Buffalo were the the '85 Bears, that defense doesn't qualify. Patrick Crayton, you may want to simmer down. Because if the Pats get a chance to play you again this year (highly unlikely), maybe Rodney Harrison starts up his cycle again. Then you'll know what the "real deal" feels like, big fella.

MEMO TO MEDIA: PAUL BYRD WAS NOT THAT GOOD LAST NIGHT

If you believe Joe Buck (and every other asshole talking about last night's game), Paul Byrd pitched seven perfect games, saved a puppy from a burning tree then impregnated every female in 440 area code with his pitching performance last night.

I like Paul Byrd. I have a soft-spot for craftiness and Paul Byrd is nothing if not crafty. Were he not pitching against my favorite team, I'd pull for him. In this day and age of 99mph cheese with no rhyme or reason and 96mph sinking fastballs thrown over the middle of the plate 80 times in a row, it's nice to see a guy who still "knows how to pitch" have success. He's old school. So I guess the old balls in the media should be forgiven for heaping praise on an "old balls" pitcher who reminds them of the pitchers they used to cheer for. But I DO NOT forgive them. Not one bit.

One more out. (This is the Stephen A. Smith portion of the post). PAUL BYRD GOT ONE MORE OUT THAN TIM WAKEFIELD. HE HAD TO BE PULLED FROM A GAME IN THE 6TH INNING WHILE UP 5 RUNS AND HAVING THROWN 73 PITCHES AFTER BACK-TO-BACK HOME RUNS AND HAVING GOTTEN NO ONE OUT IN THAT INNING. BYRD GAVE UP ONE MORE HIT THAN WAKEFIELD. WAKEFIELD GAVE UP ONE MORE RUN (Delcarmen gave up the big hit to score the two guys Wakefield was responsible for). PAUL BYRD COULDN'T BE TRUSTED WITH A FUCKING 5 RUN LEAD! In what world is being pulled from a 5 run lead in the 6th after giving up back-to-back home runs a great outing?

I was listening to the game from my kitchen while making a bitchin (you heard it) egg white omelette with turkey, cheddar, peppers, onions and some Frank's Red Hot (my zipper was crusty after finishing off that delicious fucker) and in the third inning I could have sworn I heard a gargling noise coming from Joe Buck's throat in regards to Paul Byrd's outing. He was talking as if Paul Byrd was making the Sox look stupid with bats flying into the stands and heads shaking (and on a similar note, the old "double wind-up" doesn't fool anybody. Guys were 1 for 3 against that "move" and that one hit was JD Drew. If you can't fool JD Drew, your "move" is not effective). When I looked at the screen there were guys on 1st and 2nd and 2 outs. Yes he got out of it, but what is so fucking great about that? What the fuck game was he watching? TIM WAKEFIELD HAD PITCHED HIS FIRST THREE INNINGS GIVING UP NO FUCKING HITS! Wakefield struck out 5 of his first 9 batters! HE was dominating. The reason the Indians won that game had NOTHING TO DO WITH PAUL FUCKING BYRD. Byrd's outing was the fourth best pitching performance of last night behind Betancourt (the likely MVP of the series), Lester (who was fucking oustanding) and Wakefield (the normally reliable Delcarmen fucked him).

I don't want to take away ANYTHING from the Indians. They deserved to win and they pitched better. But Paul Byrd's pitching performance was one of the fartherst things from "great" I have ever seen. His performance was fine. But dominant? HOLY FUCKING SHIT! HE WAS SO SHAKY HE GOT PULLED FROM THE FUCKING GAME WITH A 5 RUN LEAD! If that's all a pitcher has to do have a "great outing" by the media's standards, then I might start warming the old pea shooter because I could be effective in this league.

This series is going to send me to an early grave...

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Belichick And Brady Take Questions From 1920's Radio Guy


Listen closely to the questions asked to Belichick and Brady. They are being asked by a guy from the the BaD Show (short for Bob and Dan), a Dallas radio show in which one guy apparently interviews athletes as if he's from the roaring 20's. The question to Brady is particularly good:
REPORTER: "Champ, Champ, Champ, talk about the touchdown pass to Dontel Stallworth it looked like you two were doing the Jitterbug while the Dallas secondary was doing the Charleston"



Tip o' the H to the gents at Boston Sportz

Thank God For Boeheim, And Welcome Mookie Jones

Mookie, I'm not sure anyone's ever told you this but you are a breath of fresh air in a sports community suffocating in an atmosphere heavily congested with football ineptitude.

While Syracuse prepares to face SUNY Buffalo this weekend (and likely lose to them) and the AD is faced with firing his hand-picked head coach in the middle of the season less than three years after he was brought in to save the program (G-Rob is 6-24), there is some positive news coming from the soon-to-be All-Basketball Carrier Dome. It looks as though Syracuse has landed the 6-7 top 40 SF Mookie Jones, adding to an all-ready STOCKED crew of young talent.

Mookie has set a press conference for 3:15pm in the Peekskill school library where it is expected that he will declare his intentions to attend 'Cuse. Becoming the third player top tier kid to commit this year. Last year they had the top recruiting class in the country and with no seniors on this year's squad (Josh Wright doesn't count), the future is looking bright. So bright that maybe they'll be able to blind people to what's going on with the football program.

Hopefully this press conference will be followed shortly by the presser in which G-Rob is unceremoniously let go and then followed up with the press conference introducing new Head Coach Randy Edsall. The more press conferences the better.

Jason Sobel Gets His Rick Reilly On... With Nary A Mention Of Reilly

What happens when a regular joe caddies for a tour pro? Find out in Rick Reilly's hilarious book on the subject. Or read about the exact same thing in Jason Sobel's series of articles this week on ESPN.com.

I would never suggest that just because someone has done something before that you can't repeat it; especially if the idea is a particularly good one like sending a funny writer to caddy for pros or interesting people. But it just seems a little odd that ESPN.com would send a writer to caddy for a Nationwide Tour Pro and write a series of columns about the experience AS IF it had never been done before despite the fact that SI's Rick Reilly released a very popular book of tales about the EXACT SAME THING less than 3 years ago.

The idea seems remarkably similar to that of Reilly's book.* Sobel uses the same exact caddy language (loopers, bag men, etc.), some of the same anecdotes (Woosie's caddie with 15 clubs at the British) and sets up the scene in the EXACT same way that Reilly did by relaying his conversations with caddies. It's ALMOST A CARBON COPY of Reilly's book but with different characters (and not nearly as funny as Reilly). Shouldn't they at least pay homage to Reilly in the story at some point or mention how they gained some valuable insight through reading Reilly's book (as opposed to suggesting that they prepared by watching Caddyshack)?

I'm calling blatant ripoff of Reilly's idea here and considering that there's likely to be a little overlap in readership, Sobel may want to mention that while this is clearly an interesting idea for a story, it is far from an original one.*

(Update: Edited)

Monday, October 15, 2007

Tonight's Strize Zone Was Absurd




Yes I know an inconsistent strike zone is equally troubling for both teams but some of the calls tonight were absolutely absurd. Westbrook especially got some unreal calls on his armside of the plate. Anything tailing down and in was a strike no matter if it clipped the knees of a right or was out of the reach of a lefty. I would call even greater bullshit on this game except for the fact that I suspect Francona knew it would be a big zone with this ump and setup his rotation to take advantage of it because Dice-K benefits from the big zone and sinkerballers usually don't need it. Who knew three walks would be sapped from the Sox because of it.

Check out pitches No. 5 in the first graphic, 4 in the second and 3 in the third (top to bottom. Green is a ball and red is a strike.). Those were all called strikes. Pitch 4 to Manny in the middle pic was especially unbelievable. It was ball 4 and almost hit him. He then hit into a DP. Pitch No. 3 in the bottom pic is actually outside of the ball called just before it but was called a strike.

Hey ump, bend over and use your good eye you fucking idiot.

(Yes I'm aware the placement of these balls on the graphics are subject to human flaw and bias but they are usually pretty close to correct.)

The Czar: Belichick Caught Mangini Cheating In 2006


I am a complete hypocrite. I want this Pats cheating story to go away but only when it benefits me. When a story surfaces that implicates someone else, well, then it's ok to talk about it again. Case in point:

FoxSport's John Czarnecki (a man I kinda ripped earlier) was giving his recap of this weekend's football action when he just happened to toss in this curious little line...

I don't know Bill Belichick, but I respect him a lot despite all this Spygate garbage. A lot of teams steal signs and videotape their opponents when it makes sense. Belichick will tell you that his security team caught a Jets employee filming them last season in Gillette Stadium and he didn't go running to the commissioner's office.
Oh really. How VERY interesting. So the JETS were cheating and got caught but because there are still some people who understand that this type of shit should be handled in-house, Belichick didn't run to the principal's office crying like a fucking pussy with tape in hand. Huh. So now Mangini isn't just a rat, he's rat fink hypocrite. Way to go, dickhead. Oh, and nice start to the season you piece of shit. You deserve every pathetic loss and half-full stadium the rest of the way.

My Trip To The Morgue

At the end of the third quarter at the Jets game yesterday, the Meadowlands was about half this full.

Let me set the scene: Eagles are up 13-6 with 6 and a half minutes left in the third quarter and the Jets are driving at about midfield. It's third and 3 and the Jets look as though they have a little momentum. Chad barks out the signals, drops back and throws the most predictable interception I have ever seen down the Jets sideline. The ball hung in the air for approximately 12 minutes and Sheldon Brown lept about 4 inches off the ground in order to corral the fluttering duck that was so under thrown that both Brown and Cotchery had to stop in their tracks and come back to have a shot at it, and Cotchery was running a deep go on the sideline! Before the ball was even caught, the season ticketholders next to me got up and began making their way towards the door. And after it was announced an INT, they weren't alone. With 6 minutes left in the third quarter of a 7 point game, AT LEAST 10-15,000 Jets fans exited the building. And before that, it wasn't like they were shaking the building with their enthusiams.

The Meadowlands crowd was dead from the opening whistle on. The most exciting thing that happened during the entire game was when the horrible looking hungover chick sitting about 4 seats away from us started vomitting all over the place in her seat. Slight tangent here but this girl would've been one of the top 3 most unattractive people I have ever seen in person had she been in good spirits and all dolled up. I'm not saying it would've been cool for a hot girl to vomit all over the place but this girl was simply the most awful human being I have ever seen in any capacity ever. The next time I'm hungover and I'm trying to get myself to vomit, I will envision this chick dressed nicely and having lost 50lbs. If I were to think of her in her natural state, I fear I might die. God that girl was ugly. I mean the type of ugly you can smell on your skin when you get home. "What is that smell? Is that... (sniff)... ugly? Jesus I can't get it off!" She looked like someone dumped a 300lb pile of bat shit in a 200lb clear plastic bag, put a greasy blond wig on it, covered it in acne, threw on a sweatshirt and too tight jeans and then punched it in the head for about 7 hours and dropped it in row 40 of section 105 at the Meadowlands. She didn't have a muffin top, she could make a whole fucking bunt cake with the leftover muffin batter from her ample waist. It was like someone poured muffing batter in a thimble and the rest just spilled all over the place, except instead of muffin batter someone used acne ridden cellulite. What a fat ugly disgusting piece of shit. She was disgusting looking prior to vomitting bacon grease all over the place in the first quarter. Her shadow could make people ill. Fat fucking pig. And I have nothing against people vomitting (or fat people for that matter). It's just that this girl was so gross. Her friends had to stop her from chewing on the arm of the guy mopping up her spewed lard. She thought it was a pork rind or something. I was not fond of that girl. Ok, back to the Jets... The only reason most of them were there was because they paid for the tickets (several fans told us so). The Jets fans have given up. And I don't blame them.

To watch the New York Jets play football is fucking painful. They plod and dowdle down the field like an old woman descending stairs. And the fans feel the same anxiety they would were they to watch that old woman take on a stair well. It is excrutiating to watch. With each deliberate step you are closer and closer to ankle buckling and a hip breaking. I'd bleed to death via a thousand paper cuts before I'd sign up to be a Jets fan.

When you watch the Jets you know they aren't going to do anything to blow your doors off and that kinda ruins a big part of the game. Half the excitement of a football game is "the big play." Whether it be a long run, big turnover or deep pass. And with the Jets the chances that a play like that is going to happen is very limited. Mainly because they can't throw the ball deep. Sure the Jets can win games without the deep pass as part of your game plan. They did it last year. But from a fan's perspective (and I am no fan of the Jets), you would rather see your team take a shot and miss than take no shot at all. The Jets NEVER take a shot. They can't. Their most explosive runner (Leon Washington) can't pass block, so he sits half the time and their big play wide receivers (the Jets employ 3 of them) are not respected more than 7 strides down the field. The fans were calling out the plays. The Jets were running the ball down a touchdown with under four minutes in their own end AND GETTING STUFFED! Even the Eagles knew they were gonna run it in situations where it's a bad idea to run. But it was really the final sequence of the game that did it for me.

Down a touchdown with under five minutes left, and with nearly half the stadium in their cars, the Jets ran a double reverse that put the ball inside the 15. The place was going nuts (all 20,000 of them). The very next play was a decent run that Thomas Jones nearly broke. It's now 2 and a long 1 on the Eagles 4. The Jets run it again and get killed. 3 and basically 2 (though it's called 1). Chad, as he did about 4 times this game, tried to run the sneak. He gets killed. 4th down and 1 on the 4. Fade pass to their shortest receiver that was easily defended (and poorly thrown). The Eagles take over with 3 minutes left and the Jets lie down. The Jets had 3 plays from the 4 yard line and threw the ball into the endzone once. It was embarrassing. The fans who were still there were screaming at the Mangina for their pathetic play-calling. Even the Eagles fans were surprised at the level of anger, and they HATE their head coach.

The Jets may win a few more games, and may even beat a few good teams. But they play about as unexciting a brand of football that you have ever seen and at 1-5 no fan gives a shit about moral victories or 10-9 victories by their 3-8 team. They either want to compete or they want a reason to be excited. And at this point they have neither. A fanbase so fired up for this season has been completely demoralized. So while 1-15 is likely out of the question, 45,000 at the final two home games is not. You can't blame that on cameras, Manjunior.

Syracuse Head Coach Greg Robinson Is Much More Scott Stapp Than He Is Milli or Vanilli


This is from a portion of the article featured in the below post but was good enough that I thought it deserved its own spot.

The following snippet comes in response to a quote from Syracuse Head Coach Greg Robinson. Apparently G-Rob was talking with someone from the media about Rutgers recruiting and used the phrase "one year wonder." Even though Robinson is absolutely correct (Rutgers pulled their two best players ever away from Syracuse because of the Coach P coaching change), it became bulletin board material and it was really unnecessary because who the fuck is G-Rob to talk? At least Schiano had one year:

Luicci: .... They can't protect Andrew Robinson and they can't run block. Greg Robinson called Rutgers a one-hit wonder? At least Rutgers had a hit of its own. This guy is the Milli Vanilli of college coaches.
Milli Vanilli? That's kinda funny but completely incorrect. Milli Vanilli took the nation by storm and were later revealed to be frauds. We know G-Rob is a fraud and he isn't taking anyone by storm and never has. He was a decent assistant coach on some teams that were considered decent. G-Rob is more like Scott Stapp. His career with another organization was overhyped by people who don't know shit and his solo career is a predictable abject disaster.

Rutgers Is Getting A Little Uppity For Being Such A Shitty Football Program

Sure they're decent now, but this was homecoming at Rutgers 3 years ago.

Let's make this quick. I am not delusional and will in no way try and intimate that the Syracuse Football team is in any way comparable to Rutgers this year nor is their program presently within sniffing distance of Rutgers, but just because you had one good year does not mean you get to start ripping other programs. You're still Rutgers. Perhaps the second or third worst program in college football over the last couple of decades behind Temple and maybe Duke.

Rutgers was down 14-0 to 'Cuse in the Dome before scoring 38 unanswered points. And here are a few snippets from the media coverage after the victory:
6. How much was this Rutgers putting it all together or Syracuse just having nothing?

Delanian: Why don't you do this. Take a basketball and go out to the nearest park. Try to dunk a hundred times. See how close you get. Then break out the six-foot-high toy hoop you bought for your kids and try again. Now, maybe you were able to dunk on that one because you worked your legs all day and built the strength to get up there. Or not.
Now admittedly, the argument of dunking on a 6 foot rim is pretty apt when talkinga bout playing this Syracuse team. But here's something to chew on: EVERY FUCKING WIN RUTGERS HAS THIS YEAR IS ON A 6 FOOT RIM! BUFFALO, NAVY, NORFOLK FUCKING STATE, & NOW SYRACUSE! YOU LOST TWO GAMES AT HOME TO TEAMS WHO HAVE HARDLY SIPPED THEIR CUP OF COFFEE IN THE TOP 25! Syracuse may be one of the bottow 5 teams in college football, but this 2007 Rutgers team sucks.

Then the article rips 'Cuse for their attendance for this game:
7. One last thing. We lost count. Were there 500 fans in the stands at the end or 600? Syracuse football sure has fallen.

Luicci: Once they stopped selling beer at halftime, the fans had had enough. Why stay and watch this Syracuse team if you're sober? It's a sad sight seeing the Carrier Dome filled with far more Rutgers fans in the fourth quarter than Syracuse fans. Some of them may have been left over from the basketball team's Midnight Madness too. It was Homecoming and the place wasn't sold out. This is how low Syracuse has sunk: The school needed legendary country singer Larry Gatlin to belt out a halftime tune to draw people. Buffalo had the Village People when Rutgers played. Temple had the Monkees. Now Syracuse needs a gimmick to draw because the on field product is that bad. So it's official. Syracuse is in the same class as Buffalo and Temple.

Delanian: Be fair. There were 36,226 in attendance, to be exact. It's just that only a dozen or so were still around in the fourth quarter. That should be the official motto of both the team and the fans: "Hey, at least we showed up."
The digs are appropriate. The Syracuse team is pathetic and there is no reason for their fans to show up. This team sucks worse than any team I can remember. But here's the thing, two years ago, Rutgers averaged 33,000 a game and that same year Syracuse averaged 40,000 and went 1-10. AND THAT RUTGERS TEAM WENT TO A FUCKING BOWL GAME! Syracuse will average about the same amount of people per game as Rutgers this year and Syracuse will finish 1-11. If Rutgers was 1-11, they would literally have 500 people there. And with Rutgers schedule the rest of the way, they'll be lucky to win another game. This is no bowl team. And then with Rice gone next year, the real Rutgers is ready to re-emerge.