ESPN's Coverage Of The Pats v. Cowboys Is Gonna Be Painful

You thought ESPN's coverage of the Yanks v. Red Sox exhibition games was excessive? You ain't seen nothin yet.
I try not to be "one of those guys" who just rips ESPN every chance I get. But given their monopoly over the coverage of my favorite subject, it is hard to not sometimes form an opinion about the Worldwide Leader. In general, I love ESPN. I can't imagine life without SportsCenter or NFL Matchup with the insufferable Merril DuAine Hoge. But sometimes, they just really overdo it. This week's coverage of the Pats v. Cowboys WEEK FUCKING 6 MATCHUP is an example of one of those times.

The Pats - Cowboys game is interesting. That's hard to deny. To of the best teams so far this year are squaring off. That's great. But it's not a playoff game, it has no greater implications beyond one win or one loss and it just really isn't that big a deal. If ESPN were to cover the game responsibly, it would lead their football coverage, Jaws and Merrill would scream about it on Matchup and Berman would "cleverly" (not-so-cleverly) segue into it as the lead for NFL Countdown. Instead, they're doing this:

This Week On Sunday Countdown
• Comprehensive breakdown on all the key matchups, with special guest analyst Bill Parcells.
• Bill Belichick's sweatshirt: What do his players think of the coach's fashion statement? Rachel Nichols reports.
• The Mayne Event features a cameo from Patriots QB Tom Brady, who sheds some light on why he's been on the injury report for 67 straight weeks.

Fortunately, Kenny Mayne's hilarious antics should save this segment. I can't wait for some poorly scripted banter between Kenny and Matt Light. At least I won't need to do any crunches after all that hilarity. Oooooh, and Belichick's sweatshirt! What DO his players really think? I AM FUCKING DYING TO KNOW! TELL ME NOW! I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL SUNDAY YOU COCK TEASE RACHEL NICHOLS!

Hey ESPN, you want to know why people sometimes roll their eyes at your bullshit? This is why.