Sunday, May 13, 2007

Is Billy Beane David Copperfield?

Billy Beane's Jack Cust move makes the Copperfield Statue of Liberty stunt look like Grandpa pulling quarters from behind your ear.

I know Billy Beane is a genius and all, but this Jack Cust situation is out of control. Jack Cust hit another home run today, and this one won the game. Since Cust joined the A's he's played in 7 games. In those 7 games he's hit 6 home runs. That's Archi Cianfrocco territory. So how did Billy Beane know that trading for Cust for a player to be named later was going to be such a good idea? Well surely his prior history would indicate such potential.... except for the fact that it does not. In Cust's prior 70 games in the majors, he hit 5 home runs. So I guess his power numbers don't really tell the story. He must be a hot young prospect then that just hasn't had enough time in the majors, right? Well, he's 28 and has spent about a decade in the minors, so that's idea's out. But Beane loves OBP and other stats that Joe Morgan feels are irrelevant. Well, Cust's career OBP is .347 and was lower coming into the year and he strikes out almost 3 times as many times as he walks, so that's not that sweet. Everyone else thought that Cust was a lost cause. So how did Beane know just what Cust was capable of? How did he know he could resurrect him? What info did he have? I figured it out. I pulled back Coppefield's cape. He looked here and found this:
* Currently a member of the San Diego Padres
* Played MLB with Arizona Diamondbacks and Baltimore Orioles
* New Jersey Gatorade Player of The Year in 1997 and a 1st Team All American
* Chosen by the Star Ledger as a member of The All Century Baseball team starting nine
* Drafted in 1st Round by the Arizona Diamondbacks
* Jack is well know for his tremendous knowledge of hitting & an exceptional understanding of the strike zone, possessing one of the most prodigious swings in all of Pro ball
And who put together this objective and in depth scouting report? Well, that would be sometime New Jersey professional hitting instructor and full-time crazy father of Jack Cust, Jr., Jack Cust, Sr (and absolutely unbelievable site, by the way). Yup, it would seem that Billy Beane is using player dads for scouting, and it's working. If Beane was using this technique 15 years ago, Todd Marinovich would be hitting cleanup for the A's.

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