What Kind of Stuff Does Justin Verlander Have?

They put this stuff on celery down in Southern Jersey.
I always find it funny when baseball players are asked to describe the opposing pitcher after they've spent 7-9 innings swinging at air. The answers usually involve discussions about "stuff" or "spotting" of fastballs and/or "bite" of the offspeed pitches. You usually don't get much good material from these guys. Not yesterday. Apparently Justin Verlander's stuff was so good the Red Sox tried to break it down in terms we can easily understand. Like comparing it to our favorite canned dairy product:

"It's an easy hard," Mirabelli said of Verlander. "You see Beckett out there. You know he's throwing hard. This guy is fairly smooth and the ball just jumps out of his hand."

Smooth but not that smooth, Lowell said.

"A.J. Burnett has it, too," he said. "Verlander, I wouldn't say it's so easy, because he jumps at you. A.J. kind of has that slow, 'too cool for school' motion, and then boom.

"Verlander, he's thrusting it with some force at you. He's not trying to lull you to sleep. So I wouldn't say it's easy cheese, but it's cheese. Who cares?"

So to break down Verlander's pitching style, he's got a smooth delivery that is comparable to someone thrusting easy cheese at you at close to 100mph. Ewwwwww K....