Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Tim Hardaway Will Not Be Working For A Military Defense Contractor

(This has little to nothing to do with sports. I just found it too amusing to go untold (or un-re-told).)

Tim Hardaway may not want anything to do with gay people, but apparently our military contractors are suggesting that their ability to turn on the "gay switch" will help us win the war on terror. On the Washington Post's website, a story was told about a proposed "gay bomb" that the military proposed using to fight terrorists:
[a military watchdog group uncovered a] "U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting."

The proposal came from the Air Force's Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio, which requested $7.5 million to develop a so-called "gay-bomb." Using the Freedom of Information Act, Edward Hammond, director of the U.S. office of the Sunshine Project, obtained a copy which was "part of a military effort to develop non-lethal weapons." If completed, the bomb would release a chemical aphrodisiac "and by virtue of either breathing or having their skin exposed to this chemical... soldiers would become gay." This would cause their units to break down as the troops "became irresistibly attractive to one another." In addition to a "gay bomb" the proposal also mentions using chemicals which could make bees angry so that enemy forces would be attacked not only by our troops but also swarms of stinging insects.
I think that's the same hormone released by fat chicks after 3am. Any male who has ingested more than 8 drinks is helpless against their "chemical aphrodisiac." I do like the bee idea though. To me, forcing people to deal with a group of angry bees seems much more effective than forcing dudes to make out. The only question I have is are the bees in the bomb? I don't think bees hang out in the deserts or mountain ranges of these terrorists. Wouldn't the bees be angry enough if we forced them to sit in a bomb for a long period of time and then exploded them on an area where bees aren't normally located? That would make me angry.

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