EAGLES FANS: Dear Donny, Sorry For All Of The... Uh, Well, Ya Know, Everything

After such auspicious beginnings, it's amazing that things went so sour with Donny and Eagles fans at the beginning of this season.
Here's a draft of the letter Eagles fans can use to send to Donovan McNabb this morning in place of the racial hatemail they usually send:

Dear Useless Quarterblack Donovan,
Fuck you and your family and your family's family Thank you for your great performance on Sunday in beating the shit out of the Detroit Lions. Sorry about the racial epithets and hatemail directed at you, your mother and your children. I especially enjoyed regret the one directed at your mother that made reference to cans of Chunky Soup and forcible inser.... well, you probably know what I'm talking about. I'm also sorry for burning your effigy in the parking lot and in my house and in my backyard and on your frontlawn. Those actions made me feel more alive and real than I have in years. Those actions reflect poorly of me and my ability to make good decisions when faced with adversity.

Lastly, I am not sorry for taking dumps on those pizzas I had sent to your place last week. That was pretty messed up.

Keep up the good work you fucking piece of shit,

Eagles No. 1 Fan