Monday, November 5, 2007

What Are We Supposed To Make Of The Detroit Lions? Well, Not Much As It Turns Out.

It's ok to look now. They ain't half bad.

When Jon Kitna said this offseason that Jesus came down from the high heavens (or something like that) and told him the Lions were going to win 10 games, I laughed. Not simply because Jon Kitna is crazy as a shithouse rat and I find his brand of backwoods lunatic humor hilarious, but because the idea of the Detroit Lions winning 10 games seemed so implausible that it literally caused me to do one of those laughs where your lips mimic flatulence and you do the ol' "get out of here" hand gesture. 10 wins for the Lions? "No fucking way," I exclaimed to no one in particular. And now at 6-2 and coming off an absolute SHITKICKING of the Denver Broncos and a matchup against the horrific Arizona Cardinals on the horizon, 10 wins for the Lions doesn't seem so funny anymore. In fact, other than Jon Kitna's halloween costume, the Lions are dead fucking serious and maybe should be taken as such. But then again, maybe they shouldn't.

You see the thing about the Lions is that they haven't beaten ANYONE. They've only played two teams who are going to the playoffs and are 1-1 in those games. They eeked out a win against the Bucs at home and they got murdered by the Skins 34-3 on the road. Going into last week, even at 5-2, they had been outscored by their opponents (they are now outscoring their opponents thanks to a 44-7 thrashing of the awful and getting worse Broncos). This past weekend was probably their most impressive win so far this year and it's possible that three weeks from now we'll learn that the team they beat is one of the 4 worst teams in the NFL. Their defense is atrocious. They give up almost 260 yards in the air per game, good for 3rd worst in the league. They can't run it. Even with Kevin Jones healthy, the Lions are in the bottom third of the league for rushing offense with less than 100 yards per game. And though they have a solid passing game, the Detroit QBs (mostly Kitna) have been sacked a league high 36 times. They are +5 in turnover ratio but they turn the ball over a TON and it's likely to catch up with them at some point. But the real kicker is their schedule the rest of the way. After AZ next weekend, they may not win another game.

The schedule genies were not kind to the flying Kitnas and it is the final 7 teams they play that will serve as the pee on their seemingly blessed parade. Their final 7 games are Giants, Green Bay, @ Minn, Dallas, @ San Diego, KC and @ Green Bay. To put it a little more clearly, the win-loss record of their first 9 opponents is 30-43, the win-loss record of the last 7 opponents is currently 38-18. Yikes. Other than the home game against KC and perhaps the game in Minnesota, they will not be favored the rest of the year and will likely be double digit dogs against Dallas and at SD. Now that doesn't mean they can't make the playoffs because 8-8 is often times good enough in the JV league, but if you took the under against Kitna's 10, you're pretty safe.


David said...

wait, the lions will be underdogs to the chargers, but NOT minnesota? cuz, you know what happended this weekend, right?

Vinyl Dorm said...

And just who have the Packers, Cowboys, and Giants beat this season? Let me get this straight, you say the Lions will not win 10 games and will be double digit underdogs against the Cowgirls and the Chargers. Give me a fucking break dude! As far as being underdogs against the Packers, No way. They are just as good as the Cowgirls, Giants, and Packers. The feel good story of Brett Favre will come down to earth on Thanksgiving when the Lions destroy them in what will be another non-competitve Thanksgiving day football game, execpt this time it will be the Lions pulling off the win. So far the Lions have already beat the reigning NFC champs twice and the Vikings once, which makes them 3-0 in the NFC North. I sure hope everyone continues to doubt the Lions this season because WHEN they have a first round bye in the playoffs people will finally smarten up. Then again people will continue to doubt them until they DEFEAT the previous unbeaten New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLII, which I may add is in Arizona, the home of the Cardinals: the team you say will be the home of the Lions final victory. Well your right in that respect. Sort of . . .