Thursday, July 26, 2007

Isn't Marc Bulger Too Big A Dork To Holdout?*

I'm having a hard time picturing Marc Bulger as the disgruntled NFL prima donna I normally associate with training camp holdout dudes.

When I hear the word "holdout" I tend to think of giant pricks like Orlando Pace and Walter Jones who do it so they won't have to go to camp or prima donnas who have too many guys around them telling them how great they are like TO and Asante Samuel. What I don't picture is some cornbred dork who over his 7 years in the league has nary a word been uttered (positive or negative). Marc Bulger is just one of those underappreciated guys who always gets the job done. He's not great but he's very good and apparently now he wants to get paid. I guess I can understand this given that he's heading into the last year of his contract and a guy like Chad Pennington makes almost 3 times as much as he does, but what I really can't picture is Bulger acting like a true NFL holdout guy. I can't see him yapping to the media about being disrespected or making threats about sitting out the first 10 games or whatever. He's "Marc with a 'c'" Bulger for cripe's sake. Normal holdouts are a lot of posturing and back and forth venom. I don't picture the negotiations going like that with Bulger:
FO: Now Marc, we really appreciate what you've done here and we certainly want to pay you commensurate with your performance but we need to make it cap friendly. We don't want to mortgage our entire future...

Bulger: DARN IT! I deserve to be compensated like a normal starting QB in this league. I'm sorry for the coarse language.

FO: What language?

Bulger: The bad language I used earlier. I was upset and I apologize.

FO: Marc, I'm not sure what you're talking about but regardless, you have to know that we have to be able to sign you and remain flexible to sign some of our other guys and some free agents in the coming offseasons, and for that reason we may have to frontload your deal and we may not be able to guarantee you as much money or as many years as...

Bulger: Poppycock Bull Honky! Bull Bull Bull Honky! I deserve to know that I'm going to end my career here and want a long-term deal with guaranteed money throughout! Dang it guys! You're mucking up this whole process and I'll, well I'll skip the mandatory meeting on Thursday if we don't get this done and don't think I won't do it!

FO: Ok, ok... let's stay reasonable here.

Bulger: I'm sorry. I rarely lost my temper like this.

FO: It's ok Marc.
And so on.

So come on back to camp Marc and leave this holdout business to the pros. This scene just isn't your style.

*UPDATE: Bulger signed this afternoon for an absurd 6 years / $65 million. Putting him in the top 5 or 6 paid QBs in the league.

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