In The Annals Of "Guaranteed Victories," Wyoming's Joe Glenn's May Go Down As The Weakest

Joe Glenn's guarantee makes Tommy Boy's dump in a box guarantee look pretty good.
Wyoming Head Football Coach Joe Glenn is a bit of a blowhard. He doesn't mince words he loves being in the press and his overall personality seems a little abrasive; especially for a shitstain of a program like Wyoming. So I guess I wasn't all that surprised when I heard that he had guaranteed a victory over Utah this weekend in Utah. I must say that I was a little surprised by the final score: Utah 50 - Wyoming 0. I mean, hole-E-shit that is a shitkicking. And the thing about the guarantee was that it's not like Utah is Syracuse or Temple or Notre Dame or some other awful team. They killed UCLA earlier this year and had won 5 straight coming into the game. And Wyoming pretty much sucks. So how Glenn had the balls to guarantee that they would even be competitive in this game is beyond me. But that's not even the best part....

You see, the Utes were well informed of Glenn's guarantee and let's just say they took it a little personally. Up 43-0 in the 3rd quarter, the Utes attempted an onside kick. And I think it fair so infer that the UTes weren't pulling this stunt because they were afraid that Wyoming was going to make a 44pt comeback. But what really got me about this is that the Wyoming players got all riled up about it because they felt they were being shown up. Here's a word to the wise here fellas, when your coach guarantees that his team is going to go to someone else's stadium and beat that team, that team pretty much gets a blank check to do whatever the hell it wants to on that field. That includes keeping its starters in the entire game and kicking the shit out of your walk-ons to running up the score to having sex with your girlfriends on the field. ANYTHING is fair game. I know the players didn't act like assholes but if you're gonna be mad at anyone, get mad at your coach.

Oh, almost forgot. Glenn also sparked a little controversy for this move caught on tape after the onside kick attempt (Glenn seems like a real stable dude):