It Pains Me To Do This

Making fun of fat people isn't funny anymore? Can someone forward me that memo.
Dear God, I should have known better than to post an opinion on a subject worshipped by people who can't differentiate between opinion and fact. So after my seemingly innocuous knock of the MMA main event (a match which was universally described as disappointing at best), I took some shit from a pair of commenters who attempted--admirably if not successfully--to give me shit for not recognizing that MMA fighters use smaller gloves (though they would argue that they brought up several killer points and those points can be found in the comment section of this post). Well, I was prepared to respond to their critiques via comment, but since I ended up writing so much I decided to create a new post for the two of them. This will be kinda like a Sports Guy Mailbag except I will curse a little and defend myself for calling someone fat. I know this goes against much of the blogosphere's unwritten rules of decorum, but here goes anyway:

Commenter Brian: "Mike (a previous commenter) brings up two valid points disproving your inane blog post."

Brian, I didn't see two valid points based in fact (or common sense for that matter), I saw an opinion. And an opinion doesn't "disprove" anything. My opinion is that a heavyweight boxer wouldn't lose consciousness from a glancing blow to the chin because he is programmed to take those punches no matter if the guy he's fighting is wearing brass knuckles or a fucking goose down pillow on his hand. Like Mike, you Brian are also stating your opinion. I respect it but disagree. Also like Mike, you Brian aren't telling me something I don't know. Argue your point. Don't just believe you are right because your MMA Mag tells you so.

Commenter Brian: "If you realized it before writing that post the gloves MMA fighters use are much smaller than boxing gloves. So boxers can take more punishment than ultimate fighters. Thats not even research you have to do on that matter, its just common sense."

Pointing out that MMA fighters have smaller gloves is like pointing out that NBA centers are tall. It doesn't require a ton of "research." We agree on that. I never said they didn't. Like I said above, I just think Lennox Lewis or Evander Holyfield wouldn't have been on the canvas after that punch no matter what sized glove the guy hitting them with it was wearing (that's my opinion). Also, by pointing out that a boxer can take more punishment and therefore (I'm filling in a few blanks for you) is likely to participate in a boxing match for a longer period of time than an MMA fighter is able to stay upright in his match, you are making my point that a main event boxing match is a better fight to pay to watch because the main attraction fighter won't take a nap 2 minutes in.

Commenter Brian: You write: "Mike brings up two valid points disproving your inane blog post and you choose to respond by attacking his grammar." Then you write: "You made yourself look even more ignorant about the subject YOU posted by completely skirting the issue Mike writes about." Only later to write (in your dramatic concluding paragraph): "If you realized it before writing that post the gloves MMA fighters use are much smaller than boxing gloves." Huh?

Ok, I don't want to feed your fire here but like I pointed out to Mike in an earlier comment, don't call someone's writing "inane" and call them "ignorant" and then write a sentence like that last one noted above. You ever hear the one where the pot calls the kettle.... I'm just gonna move on.

Commenter Brian: "And I love how you say "I normally don't respond to comments..." then follow up with a list of attacks that has nothing to do with the original argument."

Also, when I said "I don't normally respond to comments," that's true. If you read through the 100+ posts I've written, this is the second time I've responded. That's actually factually correct. Even you would have to admit that's a +1 for me on that one.

Commenter Brian: "Someone argues against one of your posts and you go on some grammar crusade, telling him he is fat?"

I'd argue that Mike wasn't "arguing against" one of my points but is instead calling me an idiot for not realizing that MMA fighters have smaller gloves, but that's kinda beside the point. Had you done any research yourself about Mike, Brian, you'd realize that he was fat and his ENTIRE BLOG IS DEDICATED TO DESCRIBING HIS ATTEMPTS TO GET IN BETTER SHAPE. If you think that's it's not fair to knock someone for writing about puppies and their attempts to lose weight, well we'll have to agree to disagree on that one. It sounds like we have differing standards of what's funny. You, for instance, like stuff that is not funny. That's fair...

Penultimately, neither of you responded to my major point that if the best MMA can do is have their top dog take a shot to the chin and get TKO'd in under two minutes, I don't see the appeal. Though I do concede that the event with the multiple exciting undercards is enticing to a viewer who likes that style of fighting. It's hard to market a sport without a star with staying power. In Boxing, Holyfield's appeal was his ability to get back up and fight. Tyson's appeal was that he had the unique ability to end a fight with one punch. In both cases you were likely to get about a half an hour of top notch entertainment from the two guys you paid to see. Even the best fighters in MMA don't consistently stay on the television screen for longer than 3 minutes. I would argue that that's a hard fight to market. If you're marketing the event (as opposed to the main event), you're asking people to pay money to watch a bunch of no names wrestle eachother in spandex. Without good storylines, this will forever be a niche sport.

Lastly, before posting again, please read: this.

Again, thanks for reading.