Thursday, July 12, 2007

Eli Thinks Tiki Barber Is A Pussy But Is Too Much Of A Pussy To Come Right Out And Say It

There should be an " * " next to unstoppable with the following disclaimer (* - "unstoppable" claim not valid in connection with Eli's performance: against NFC East teams, against better than average NFL defenses, against NFL teams located in the contiguous 48 US states, as a collegiate QB, in bed and in life in general.)

Not to belabor the above photo more than I already have, but can you think of a word that is a less apt description of Eli Manning than "unstoppable." How about timid, homely, shaken or overrated? I would like to see that ad: "Eli Manning is HOMELY." At least it would be accurate.

Anyhoo... this offseason if you write about Eli Manning you are contractually obligated to mention how this is his "big year" and how he "really needs to show something" "or else"... actually, they don't give the "or else" part because his competitors for the starting spot are J-Load, Anthony Wright and the least talented Hasselbeck so there is no chance he's going to lose his job. But because of this added pressure, Eli has become a little more assertive in his approach, or at least in his approach towards handling the media. He used to let teammates speak for him with Shockey always having his back, Strahan sticking up for him and Tiki doing radio appearances and annoyingly referring to him as Elijah. This past week he has been quoted on several occasions about how he's going to "step up" and "become a leader" this year. He's just been a little more outspoken in his leadership role and it's generally been well-received. Anything more than the mumbling, shy Eli would be a step up at this point. But I think Eli's new found media savvy has started to get into his head a little. In talking about his team this year and their chances in light of all the departures this offseason, Eli took a subtle not-so-subtle shot at the premature retirement of Tiki Barber:
"I don't think we're concerned," Manning said. "We're excited by the players that we have who wanted to return for this season, and who wanted to be a part of the Giants and play."
Whoa there fella. I like your moxy but don't you first have to do something (ANYTHING) on the field before you're allowed to call out one of the greatest players in Giant history? And aren't you the same guy who REFUSED to play for San Diego (now one of the top 3 teams in the NFL) and now you're calling out someone else for being selfish? Well played sir. You're really getting the hang of this leader thing. You just finished up a little short of the full throw the ex-teammate under the bus. You should have called Tiki some racial slur or a homo like TO. A nice, "If he looks like a duck and sounds like a duck..." comment would have finished that off well. I'll give you a pass though. You're just getting the hang of this thing.

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