My New Favorite "Keyword" Phrase For The Smittblog

Finding the perfect website for your keyword search on Google can be very satisfying.
One of my favorite things about having a blog is using Google Analytics to track viewership. I can find out what people are reading, where they're located geographically and what site they were referred from. But the best part is checking out what Google "keywords" people are using to get to my site. I can find out the phrases typed into Google that lead to my site popping up. It's a pretty sweet feature. Prior to yesterday, some of my favorites were:

Strahan Gay
Tony Romo Sucks
Feff Francoeur Alex Rodriguez sandwich
Stokke (and assorted combinations)
Lindy Slinger is ugly
Meathead "Meatballs 2"

And that's just the tip of the the iceberg. But then today, two people really upped the ante with the following Google queries:

Grady Sizemore cock
&
how did I become such an asshole

The first one is funny. I have no idea why my site comes up when that is typed in because I did not use Sizemore and the word "cock" in the same post (though I'm sure the two words appear close to eachother) and there is certainly no photograph of Sizemore's piece anywhere on my site. Not to even get into the person that is searching for this piece of information (the only thing I do know about this person is that the search came early this morning and the network was located in Charlotte). But the second search is funnier on a lot of levels.

First, the reason it comes up is because I wrote something awhile ago about becoming an asshole (I'd link to it, but I'm feeling too lazy). It had much to do with realizing that I was turning into the fans I hate and blah blah blah. So that part is not a mystery. What is a mystery is the type of person who is sitting around on their computer at night and typing in such a query. I mean, what does he expect to come up? Is he really looking for an answer or is he just looking for company to commiserate with? The search is funny in and of itself. But what might be funniest about it is that the search was also out of Charlotte, NC (there are also other similarities including browser type and connection speed). So my guess is that the same guy was searching for both queries and basically this is what happened:

Guy types: Grady Sizemore cock
Reads my blog as well as others about Sizemore but comes up emptyhanded in terms of what he was really looking for. Deflated and in a moment of serious soul searching:

Guy then types: how did I become such an asshole

That's either the explanation or else there are some lonely souls in need of serious help in the greater Charlotte area.