Thursday, September 13, 2007

Starbury On The Stand Is Pure Entertainment

Steph: "I'm talking about that man who tried to jump off the thing for the cash." No further questions.

Well this Isiah trial is going swimmingly. Two days ago it was Isiah laughing at the defendant as she cried on the stand and yesterday it was Marbury's comically obtuse testimony about the entire situation including a sexual tryst with a shitfaced Knicks intern in a truck outside a strip club:
"When you heard about this lawsuit, you thought it was funny, correct?" asked Sanders' lawyer, Anne Vladek.

"I laughed. I meant it was more of a joke than anything," Marbury said.


"Yes, I called her a bitch," Marbury said. "I said a lot of different things . . . I said she doesn't run s- - -. . . . I may have said f- - - her. I didn't call her a black bitch."
Glad we cleared that one up. I don't know, maybe it's just me but wouldn't it be more effective if Starbury had called her a black bitch but come off as contrite rather than to clarify that he only called her a bitch and make it seem as though that were somehow ok. If plaintiff is trying to convey just how shitty it was to work for the Knicks under the Isiah regime and Marbury is testifying that even though he admits to calling the defendant a bitch to her face and telling her she doesn't run shit he thinks it laughable that she would bring a harrasment claim, well, that can't be good. It would seem to suggest that no one in the organization understood that some of that shit is not ok.

But let's not dwell on all of that, I'd like to focus on the Marbury sex in the truck incident. Here's the Post's Andrea Peyser's (a woman I normally loathe) rundown:
Here is a cheat sheet to Marbury's Method for Making It. Take notes.

Rule No. 1 - Before even thinking about doing it with a chick, a big-time player better make sure the girl's been road-tested. Stephon solved that problem by coming on to a Knick underling who was "in a relationship" with his cousin, Hassan Gonsalves.

It helped that Gonsalves was on the Knicks' payroll, too. No complaints here about sloppy seconds.

Rule No. 2 - Access is key. Marbury plucked the girl right out of Gonsalves' car, after they all visited Sue's Rendezvous, a Mount Vernon strip club. For the girl's birthday.

3. - The drunker the better.

4. - Professional bitches are a pain the you-know-what. Interns, baby!

5. - Why waste oxygen? "Are you going to get in the truck?" was the extent of Marbury's conversation with the college student. "Yes," she said.

6. - Why waste money on a room when you have a car? "We got together right across the street" from the strip club, he testified.

7. - Why waste gas when you can sit still? "We were stationary the whole time," he said. Doubtless not a commentary on his performance.
Nice. The part that Peyser left out was my favorite comment of the entire testimony. During this exchange on the stand, Marbury was recounting the "conversation" that led to his sexual encounter and remarked, "It really wasn't a conversation..." I just envision him Starbury flashing a wry smile and giving a point to a good-looking juror as he said it. Really good stuff. But the strangest moment of the Starbury experience was when he was leaving the proceedings:
The hoops player then left the court grinning ear to ear and hopped into an elevator with a group of reporters, saying, "Man, money makes you do crazy things."

Then the star paused and weirdly added, "I'm talking about that man who tried to jump off the thing for the cash."
Riiiight, the man with the thing and the cash. Okeedoke, Star. What a fucking mess.

Lastly, I'd really like to know what nickel and dime law firm is representing Isiah. I mean, how do you let your defendant laugh at a sexual harrassment accuser during her testimony and then allow the only positive testimony to come from Stephon Marbury's stand appearance be Marbury's clarification that he didn't call Anucha Browne Sanders a "black bitch," he just called her a "bitch". Not to even get into the relevance of the entire line of questioning regarding Steph and the intern banging outside the strip club. What does that have to do with anything? I guess you could draw the inference that Isiah was fostering a culture of "outside-the-strip-club-fucking-in-trucks" but there are friends of mine who are in or just out of law school who I believe could bar that evidence from the trial. That Isiah's high-priced attorneys allowed every detail of the encounter in is ridiculous and allowing Marbury to take the stand uncoached is fucking disgraceful (and if Marbury was coached by the defense team, he must've just forgotten about it).

I'm not sure what's gonna happen from here on out, but the start of this thing is a fucking circus and makes Isiah and the Knicks look like the least professional organization in modern sports history (yes, even worse than the Patriots). There is no reason that any of this should have seen the light of day. Rethinking that lowball settlement offer now fellas?

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