Baseball and The World As We Know it is About to Change Forever

It's finally here. An event matched in anticipation only by the future release of Guns N' Roses "Chinese Democracy" (and if you haven't read Chuck Klosterman's "review" of the album last April 1, 2006, you just aren't paying close enough attention) will absolutely light the world on fire tonight. Sparks will fly, adrenaline will pump and a gazillion people will be watching. Tonight, Roy confronts Jim about kissing Pam on "The Office." And I for one, can't friggin wait. Also going on today(and I'll get to watch thanks to the new MLB extra innings deal. Coincidence that it falls on the same day Dice-K throws his first pitch? Fat chance.), a pot-bellied japanese man will be throwing 96 mile an hour darts at a triple A lineup in below freezing temperatures. Dice MOTHERFUCKING K! It is going to be magical, and cold. Temps in the low 30's / high 20's. And if you're worried (as I am) that the temperature will have any effect on Dice-K's ability to get a feel for the ball, Tito Francona is here to calm everyone's nerves:

"We thought about talking to him about it, but we hate to put that in his head," said Francona. "They have to have some cold weather over there. They've got snow-covered mountains."

Whew! That makes me feel better. Since Shaughnessy failed to give any context for the quote, I'm going to assume Tito was having a little fun with us. And if he wasn't, someone may want to point out to him that Tanzania has a snow covered mountain too and it's 90 degrees there today (For more fun facts about the world's climate, check out weather.com.). Fortunately, pitching coach John Farrell took the time to allay the cold temps concerns:

Matsuzaka pitched in a dome with the Seibu Lions. And Sox pitching coach John Farrell reminded us, "The pitcher is always the warmest guy in the ballpark."

That doesn't make any sense, but since it reeks of an old baseball maxim I'm gonna roll with it. More power to ya Dice. I can't friggin wait.