Tuesday, April 3, 2007

You want to know why Sox fans are crazy? Read today's Globe

EZ with the indoor shades, Corey Hart

Sox fans are universally regarded as crazy, whiny, little bitches, for the most part. They always assume the worst, complain even when things are going well and have a serious inferiority complex due to the successes of the team that resides a couple parallels south of them and plays in a 55,000 seat urinal. And to be honest, the Sox fan stereotype is largely true. Even during this stretch of success, it's been so ingrained in our being to be miserable that we have a hard time shaking it. I'd like to believe that it's softened to a degree thanks to the 2004 Yanks choke and to a lesser degree the World Series victory but it's a hard persona to shake. It's especially hard when the old hacks at the Globe continue to spew absurd venom and do their level best to incite rage amongst the ranks of their loyal readers. In Today's Globe, Dan Shaughnessy--a guy who would write a negative piece if Bin Laden was captured--writes a completely insane article about Schilling and the Sox after ONE FRICKING GAME! Here are a couple snippets:
"Worse than Ellen DeGeneres's first night hosting the Oscars. Worse than Arsenio Hall's first shot at late-night television. Worse than Patriots coach Clive Rush's first press conference, when he was nearly electrocuted."

"....after all the hype and hysteria that accompanied the start of this season, it was somewhat shocking to see the team with the $58 million payroll -- a team that lost 100 games in four of the last five seasons -- croaking the team with the $145.7 million payroll."

"Facing the widely mocked Gil Meche ($55 million over five years?), the Red Sox lineup was hardly the relentless run-producing machine that Theo and the Minions envisioned when they hovered over their computers during the wild-spending winter."
First, we need to clear something up about Arsenio. Unless Shaughnessy knows something I don't, Arsenio's "first shot at late-night television" was also his last. Don't tease me, Dan. Second (lastly), can we take it easy? Was there really "hysteria" for the opening of the season and was a opening day loss to the Royals really "shocking" and does the phrase "croaking the team" really making any sense? Am I happy with the results? Not really, but unlike what Dan wants to believe, I didn't really think too much about it. It's not 1987 anymore, Dan. In 2007, Bucky Dent, Bill Buckner and Aaron Boone inspire a curse word followed by a coy smile because those memories, while painful, have to a large degree been erased. Dent, Buckner and Boone used to define "Red Sox Nation" (I hate that fucking phrase). I think we've moved on. They just aren't relevant any longer. And you know what Dan, neither are you.

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