Monday, September 17, 2007

And On The 8th Day, God Healed Jon Kitna So He Could Play Again In The Second Half Of The Lions v. Vikings Week 2 Matchup

Who knew Kitna had such a small crank?

If ESPN were still as "in your face" and extreme as they were a couple of years ago, Jon Kitna would've made this week's "JACKED UP!" He got knocked the F out in Sunday's game and it looked like the Lions were in for the JT O'Sullivan era. That was at least until the Big Guy upstairs got involved:
"I've never felt anything like that, and for it to clear up and go right back to as normal as I can be, is nothing short of a miracle," Kitna said Monday. "I just definitely feel the hand of God. That's all it was. You can't explain it.

"I have no headaches, no symptoms, no lingering effects. But that was the worst my head has ever felt, and the worse my memory was in the second quarter. Yet, after halftime there was nothing."
EZ Jon boy. I may not be all that tight with the big G-O-D but I'm guessing the old man may not have had time to deal with the headache of a below-average quarterback on an terrible franchise in a game that probably got a .5 rating nationally, you know with all the more significant strife and whatnot staring him right in the face (like Buffalo's offense and the Giants D). I mean, Fox didn't even care about the game. They sent Matt Vasgersian, JC Pearson and Jennifer Hammond to cover it. You think God gave shit? No friggin way. He was too busy reading over the terms of the deal with the devil that Roger Clemens made before he pitched Sunday night.

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